Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Here is an important question I got the other day via email. (By the way, feel free to write me with your questions and testimonials!)
"Hi Guys
It's midnight on a rainy Monday in old London Town. I've just got back in from an evening out with a very attractive young lady and I'm a bit frustrated.
I met Cath last year on holiday. When we first met we quite fancied each other, but by the end of the holiday, for various reasons, we weren't seeing eye to eye. Relationship at this point was purely platonic.
We met up again and I ran several patterns from the Home Study Course(http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
At several points when she was in trance I leaned in and she responded very favorably by smiling and leaning in to me.
At the end of the evening I walked her back to her car, gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and we agreed to meet again.
All well and good? If that's the case why do I feel like I managed to capture her imagination but didn't lead it very well?
It seems to be a bit of a theme with me at the moment. I go out, meet quite a few women, get into great conversations with them. Steer these towards SS themes but don't seem to be able lead them to places which let them feel interested or comfortable enough to want to go any further.
I sort of feel like I'm sooooo close. But not quite there? I'm managing to put myself in a scoring position, but can't quite create the opportunity to put the ball in the back of the net.
Suggestions, support and encouragement most welcome.
TR London, England"
Ok, TR. Good going, so far. You are using patterns and getting some strong, favorable responses.
Here is where you screwed it up:
YOU WAITED UNTIL THE END OF THE EVENING TO GO FOR THE KISS!
What is this stuff about waiting to walk her back to her car?
You have to learn to strike while the iron is hot.
If you see her leaning into you, that's a huge NON-VERBAL SIGNAL that is screaming out: KISS ME, STUPID!
The more important issue is, you seem to be putting Speed Seduction® through a dating framework.
What I mean by that is, even though you are using the patterns and getting great responses, you are still thinking in terms of traditional dating when it comes to making your move.
You are still thinking you have to wait til the end of the evening, etc etc.
Get that traditional "dating" programming out of your head.
When you capture and lead a woman's imagination and emotions, they will be ready for action, far more quickly than you would ever get through traditional dating.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Want to enjoy fantastic success with amazing women, without resorting to traditional dating, stupid "dating tips", trite "dating advice", canned "pick up lines" and the rest of that nonsense?
Get women hot for you, fast and easy, and leave traditional dating behind for good. Just go here:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
Meet women, anytime, anywhere and never worry about what to say. Check out the amazing Gold Walk Up DVD and learn the 4 approach positions that will have you easily approaching women any time and never have to think about what comes out of your mouth:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj185.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
Showing posts with label how-does-stress-affect-the-brain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how-does-stress-affect-the-brain. Show all posts
Monday, March 28, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Why aren't YOU getting these results with women?
Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
I just got TWO emails from students reporting their incredible results with women, using my system, and I HAD to share them with you.
As you read them, and imagine enjoying these results for yourself, you will notice that these guys give SPECIFIC descriptions of the techniques they used from my courses (and also give some juicy details about what the women did to and WITH them as a result!)
I want you to get excited as you read these two emails and wonder, WHEN WILL I BUY MY HOME STUDY COURSE SO I CAN ENJOY THESE RESULTS AS WELL?
Here are the emails:
Hi Ross and Everyone,
An amazing story for me. I met this girl who I went to elementary and middle school with through the Internet. We both used to live in Monterey and grew up around each other, but then I moved to another town and 8 years later we meet in another town.
Story- I instant message girl online, talked for a little while and met the following night. She came over here, I introduced cube game to her, then I talked about how I was learning to be a blissnotist, but I didn't go into detail about it until she came over. I think that made her really curious to meet me. Then I read some poetry and used the loop technique from a newsletter that was sent out before. The we started having wild passionate sex.
Well after we had sex she had mentioned Monterey and how she used to live there and I told her I used to live there, then I asked her what school she went to and the school she named was the same school I went to, then I asked her what her name was again and she said it and I told her I knew someone by that name that went to the same school I went to and that the girl I knew by that name had invited me to go to a special birthday celebration she had for her 15th birthday, where she had to dance at the thing.
Well, I told her I remember telling the girl I knew that I wouldn't go to her birthday celebration cause I was supposed to dance with her but that I didn't know how to dance Spanish music. So I never went.
She then paused and looked shock and then she asked me what was the girls last name that I knew and I told her. She suddenly looked even more shocked and then I was kinda shocked by her shockness. She asked me what my name was and well I use a different name when I meet woman from the Internet, but then I told her my first name and last name and she repeated it and said slowly, with a still shocked look on her face "Oh My God, you're so and so"
Then I pulled out pictures and yearbooks and there we were as youngsters in the yearbooks, me looking like a dork, I always thought she was hot being a cheerleader all throughout the whole time we went to school together. So the mood changed from passionate to being really aware.
We both lived on the same street in Monterey too. She lived just a few houses down from mine. I even described her house to her I, what her yard looked like. I went so far back that I took her to a time when I rode by on my bicycle stopped in front of her house as she was walking towards her front door and smiled at her as she stopped for a second and smiled back. I remembered and described what she was wearing that day. Now we're seeing each other. I've elicited her most important values and they just so happen to match mine which is really good.
Thanks, Ross!
BM
Could use a bit of assistance here... I'll try to be brief but that's not my strong-suit - LOL!
Background - I seem to be having a lot of success with neighbors. 1st night closes with both the woman who lives on top of me and the one in front (my complex is a target rich environment!). (Oh, and Ross - the second one happened days after I got back from LA. Thanks again for your time while I was there, and yes, I know she's also "geographically undesirable", but oh so desirable in every other way!)
The fling with the girl on top lasted a few weeks; we're still friends. She was fun and I enjoyed her, but not what I'm looking for long term. The one in front is another matter. She'd be an HB11 on my uncle's scale (a 9 with money!). She's the topic of this post.
I've known her casually for some time. She's very reclusive and hard to get to know; she's lived in front of me for over a year and a half... Does travel a lot with work, but most of the time you'd never know 'cuz when she is home she's rarely seen. Over the past few months I'd seen a bit more of her. She came out with her niece and nephew to play with my dog one day and we had a good conversation. A couple of weeks later, I was out detailing my car and she again came down to chat (very unusual for her!). The following weekend, she was out cleaning HER car and we started chatting, among other things she said that I'd inspired her (one good sign!). She also asked if I knew who lives above her, because they were up all night partying and having sex she couldn't get any sleep. I blushed, smiled sheepishly and said "That was probably actually us" (the other neighbor had been over the night before, and my bedroom is directly behind this one's...). She replied that if was me she wouldn't complain to the complex, but to get on the floor next time 'cuz my bed squeaks. I ended up trading a wax job (on the car, not her - LOL!) in exchange for her taking me to happy hour. A few days after that I left town for a while so didn't get a chance to take her up on the happy hour for a while.
Two days after I got back from my trip (I did some one-on-one counseling in LA with Marilyn Sargent and spent an afternoon with Ross) I ran into her out front. She invited me to come by later to watch a movie, and I countered with her coming to my place since I've got a nice home theater. She agreed and showed up a bit later. We decided just to talk & get to know each other a bit instead of the movie, which culminated in a late night visit to the Jacuzzi and spending the night at her place (hot sex, pussy breath and all!!!). Only two moments of last minute resistance; on the way to the pool I started holding her hand and she said "Wait a minute. We're holding hands! What about Jeannie (other neighbor)?" I replied, "Jeannie said she wants to see other people." which is true, by the way. That settled that. Then, just as we were getting into bed, she goes, "Hold on, we're neighbors! Doesn't that pose a problem for ... wait, I guess not. Nevermind..."
Brother BB
************************************************************
Now what are you looking for? CHRISTMAS! Call right now and get YOUR Home Study Course and enjoy results like these!
Piece and Peace,
RJ
This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.
I just got TWO emails from students reporting their incredible results with women, using my system, and I HAD to share them with you.
As you read them, and imagine enjoying these results for yourself, you will notice that these guys give SPECIFIC descriptions of the techniques they used from my courses (and also give some juicy details about what the women did to and WITH them as a result!)
I want you to get excited as you read these two emails and wonder, WHEN WILL I BUY MY HOME STUDY COURSE SO I CAN ENJOY THESE RESULTS AS WELL?
Here are the emails:
Hi Ross and Everyone,
An amazing story for me. I met this girl who I went to elementary and middle school with through the Internet. We both used to live in Monterey and grew up around each other, but then I moved to another town and 8 years later we meet in another town.
Story- I instant message girl online, talked for a little while and met the following night. She came over here, I introduced cube game to her, then I talked about how I was learning to be a blissnotist, but I didn't go into detail about it until she came over. I think that made her really curious to meet me. Then I read some poetry and used the loop technique from a newsletter that was sent out before. The we started having wild passionate sex.
Well after we had sex she had mentioned Monterey and how she used to live there and I told her I used to live there, then I asked her what school she went to and the school she named was the same school I went to, then I asked her what her name was again and she said it and I told her I knew someone by that name that went to the same school I went to and that the girl I knew by that name had invited me to go to a special birthday celebration she had for her 15th birthday, where she had to dance at the thing.
Well, I told her I remember telling the girl I knew that I wouldn't go to her birthday celebration cause I was supposed to dance with her but that I didn't know how to dance Spanish music. So I never went.
She then paused and looked shock and then she asked me what was the girls last name that I knew and I told her. She suddenly looked even more shocked and then I was kinda shocked by her shockness. She asked me what my name was and well I use a different name when I meet woman from the Internet, but then I told her my first name and last name and she repeated it and said slowly, with a still shocked look on her face "Oh My God, you're so and so"
Then I pulled out pictures and yearbooks and there we were as youngsters in the yearbooks, me looking like a dork, I always thought she was hot being a cheerleader all throughout the whole time we went to school together. So the mood changed from passionate to being really aware.
We both lived on the same street in Monterey too. She lived just a few houses down from mine. I even described her house to her I, what her yard looked like. I went so far back that I took her to a time when I rode by on my bicycle stopped in front of her house as she was walking towards her front door and smiled at her as she stopped for a second and smiled back. I remembered and described what she was wearing that day. Now we're seeing each other. I've elicited her most important values and they just so happen to match mine which is really good.
Thanks, Ross!
BM
Could use a bit of assistance here... I'll try to be brief but that's not my strong-suit - LOL!
Background - I seem to be having a lot of success with neighbors. 1st night closes with both the woman who lives on top of me and the one in front (my complex is a target rich environment!). (Oh, and Ross - the second one happened days after I got back from LA. Thanks again for your time while I was there, and yes, I know she's also "geographically undesirable", but oh so desirable in every other way!)
The fling with the girl on top lasted a few weeks; we're still friends. She was fun and I enjoyed her, but not what I'm looking for long term. The one in front is another matter. She'd be an HB11 on my uncle's scale (a 9 with money!). She's the topic of this post.
I've known her casually for some time. She's very reclusive and hard to get to know; she's lived in front of me for over a year and a half... Does travel a lot with work, but most of the time you'd never know 'cuz when she is home she's rarely seen. Over the past few months I'd seen a bit more of her. She came out with her niece and nephew to play with my dog one day and we had a good conversation. A couple of weeks later, I was out detailing my car and she again came down to chat (very unusual for her!). The following weekend, she was out cleaning HER car and we started chatting, among other things she said that I'd inspired her (one good sign!). She also asked if I knew who lives above her, because they were up all night partying and having sex she couldn't get any sleep. I blushed, smiled sheepishly and said "That was probably actually us" (the other neighbor had been over the night before, and my bedroom is directly behind this one's...). She replied that if was me she wouldn't complain to the complex, but to get on the floor next time 'cuz my bed squeaks. I ended up trading a wax job (on the car, not her - LOL!) in exchange for her taking me to happy hour. A few days after that I left town for a while so didn't get a chance to take her up on the happy hour for a while.
Two days after I got back from my trip (I did some one-on-one counseling in LA with Marilyn Sargent and spent an afternoon with Ross) I ran into her out front. She invited me to come by later to watch a movie, and I countered with her coming to my place since I've got a nice home theater. She agreed and showed up a bit later. We decided just to talk & get to know each other a bit instead of the movie, which culminated in a late night visit to the Jacuzzi and spending the night at her place (hot sex, pussy breath and all!!!). Only two moments of last minute resistance; on the way to the pool I started holding her hand and she said "Wait a minute. We're holding hands! What about Jeannie (other neighbor)?" I replied, "Jeannie said she wants to see other people." which is true, by the way. That settled that. Then, just as we were getting into bed, she goes, "Hold on, we're neighbors! Doesn't that pose a problem for ... wait, I guess not. Nevermind..."
Brother BB
************************************************************
Now what are you looking for? CHRISTMAS! Call right now and get YOUR Home Study Course and enjoy results like these!
Piece and Peace,
RJ
This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
How To *Lock In* Lasting Self-Confidence With Women!
Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Over the years, I've had a chance to look at what really
makes permanent, large, personal change possible. I've
watched thousands of guys use my methods to go very rapidly
from no confidence with women at all, to ease, power, grace
and fun with all the women they could possibly desire.
And one of the big things they had in common, in addition
to buying and using my products, is…
......Consistency!
They didn't just listen to my products once, or give it a
few tries.
No.
They immersed themselves in the material.
In fact, I've gotten many reports of guys going so far as
to have my, videos, cd's and tapes playing all the time in
every room of their house, apartment or hotel, no matter the
time of day, on multiple tape players, VHS's etc.
Other students (including some of my current top guys)
have said that they took long drives out of town, often
hundreds of miles each way, with the tapes or CD's playing the
entire trip.
Now, personally, I don't think I could stand listening to
my own voice that much!
But immersing yourself in the material, in fact, immersing
yourself when it comes to any truly new way of thinking and
feeling and acting, is probably…
.................A Damn Fine Idea!
Remember, one of my key rules for success and power with
women, which I've repeated over and over:
Use Your Language To Capture And Lead Her Imagination And
Emotions!
****************************************************
Advertisement
If you want incredible success with women, why not purchase
your Speed Seduction® Home Study Course today? Just go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
**********************************************************
Well, the same is true with changing yourself. You've got
to learn to capture and lead your own imagination and emotions
on a consistent basis to take you where you really want to
go! And then follow up with your external behavior, in the
real world, with women!
Anyway, yesterday I got an email from someone who brought
up this very issue. So let's here from this devoted
client/reader:
"Hey Ross, I know you probably get a million emails a day,
but I felt the need to take the time to thank you for the work
you've put in to Speed Seduction and the Unstoppable
Confidence series. I've only received SS 2 days ago, but just
by listening to your exercises on visualization and overcoming
fear and shyness, I can already tell it's having an effect on
the way I perceive myself.
If you happen to get through this and feel like replying,
I'm just wondering if it's normal to feel sort of...hollow, or
feel almost a blank emptiness after doing these exercises?
Seriously, after I listen and study for a while I feel like
I've completely erased a part of myself and it takes a little
getting used to but goes away after a while. Any idea what
I'm talking about, or am I just convincing myself that I
should feel different?
Again, thanks a million and I promise to study hard and
practice as often as I possibly can. :)
-Tim T. New Castle, PA "
Tim,
Thanks for the kind words. I personally love the
Unstoppable Confidence tapes. They are one of our all time
best sellers, and still, over a decade after I created them in
1994, they stand up as one of my finest products.
While it's great that only after 2 days you are already
noticing some good effects, bear in mind that it takes a while
for big changes to take hold and feel real.
That's not to say you aren't changing already. You are.
It just takes a while for new feelings, new thoughts and new
behaviors to "feel like the real you". Most studies show
that, in fact, the time period for new ways of thinking,
feeling and acting to "set" and feel "natural" is 21 days.
My suggestion is to keep on listening to the UC Tapes and
keep doing the exercises. It takes some consistent(but not
heroic or hard) effort to get change going. And for goodness
sakes, make sure you are a member of the Speed Seduction
on-line discussion group where you can get 24 hour support,
encouragement and ANSWERS to your questions! Yours for free
when you buy your Delux or Basic Home Study Course. Just click
here at:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
That's it for this issue. Keep practicing, keep capturing
imagination and emotion (your own and womens') and keep on
keeping on!
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Your success with women is waiting for you. Just go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/resources.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.
Over the years, I've had a chance to look at what really
makes permanent, large, personal change possible. I've
watched thousands of guys use my methods to go very rapidly
from no confidence with women at all, to ease, power, grace
and fun with all the women they could possibly desire.
And one of the big things they had in common, in addition
to buying and using my products, is…
......Consistency!
They didn't just listen to my products once, or give it a
few tries.
No.
They immersed themselves in the material.
In fact, I've gotten many reports of guys going so far as
to have my, videos, cd's and tapes playing all the time in
every room of their house, apartment or hotel, no matter the
time of day, on multiple tape players, VHS's etc.
Other students (including some of my current top guys)
have said that they took long drives out of town, often
hundreds of miles each way, with the tapes or CD's playing the
entire trip.
Now, personally, I don't think I could stand listening to
my own voice that much!
But immersing yourself in the material, in fact, immersing
yourself when it comes to any truly new way of thinking and
feeling and acting, is probably…
.................A Damn Fine Idea!
Remember, one of my key rules for success and power with
women, which I've repeated over and over:
Use Your Language To Capture And Lead Her Imagination And
Emotions!
****************************************************
Advertisement
If you want incredible success with women, why not purchase
your Speed Seduction® Home Study Course today? Just go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
**********************************************************
Well, the same is true with changing yourself. You've got
to learn to capture and lead your own imagination and emotions
on a consistent basis to take you where you really want to
go! And then follow up with your external behavior, in the
real world, with women!
Anyway, yesterday I got an email from someone who brought
up this very issue. So let's here from this devoted
client/reader:
"Hey Ross, I know you probably get a million emails a day,
but I felt the need to take the time to thank you for the work
you've put in to Speed Seduction and the Unstoppable
Confidence series. I've only received SS 2 days ago, but just
by listening to your exercises on visualization and overcoming
fear and shyness, I can already tell it's having an effect on
the way I perceive myself.
If you happen to get through this and feel like replying,
I'm just wondering if it's normal to feel sort of...hollow, or
feel almost a blank emptiness after doing these exercises?
Seriously, after I listen and study for a while I feel like
I've completely erased a part of myself and it takes a little
getting used to but goes away after a while. Any idea what
I'm talking about, or am I just convincing myself that I
should feel different?
Again, thanks a million and I promise to study hard and
practice as often as I possibly can. :)
-Tim T. New Castle, PA "
Tim,
Thanks for the kind words. I personally love the
Unstoppable Confidence tapes. They are one of our all time
best sellers, and still, over a decade after I created them in
1994, they stand up as one of my finest products.
While it's great that only after 2 days you are already
noticing some good effects, bear in mind that it takes a while
for big changes to take hold and feel real.
That's not to say you aren't changing already. You are.
It just takes a while for new feelings, new thoughts and new
behaviors to "feel like the real you". Most studies show
that, in fact, the time period for new ways of thinking,
feeling and acting to "set" and feel "natural" is 21 days.
My suggestion is to keep on listening to the UC Tapes and
keep doing the exercises. It takes some consistent(but not
heroic or hard) effort to get change going. And for goodness
sakes, make sure you are a member of the Speed Seduction
on-line discussion group where you can get 24 hour support,
encouragement and ANSWERS to your questions! Yours for free
when you buy your Delux or Basic Home Study Course. Just click
here at:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
That's it for this issue. Keep practicing, keep capturing
imagination and emotion (your own and womens') and keep on
keeping on!
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. Your success with women is waiting for you. Just go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/resources.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.
Friday, January 28, 2011
How To Get Unstuck And Going Strong With Speed Seduction®!
Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Many times, beginning students have said or written to me,
"I'm just having trouble getting started with this stuff. It's
not that I'm really shy or anything...it's just that this way of
talking seems SO strange to me."
Now listen; I am very aware that a first introduction to
Speed Seduction® can seem overwhelming and also a little, well,
ooky.
After all, if a guy walked up to you and talked to you the
way I am teaching you to talk to women, you'd probably call the
cops or punch him in the mouth. Perhaps if you were an extra
compassionate person, you'd refer him to a mental health clinic
for counseling.
Look, I'm very, very aware that the ways I'm teaching you to
communicate with women seem very strange. Further I'm here to
tell you..
....THEY SHOULD SEEM STRANGE TO YOU!
*******************************************
ADVERTISEMENT
To check out the latest Speed Seduction® products
to super-charge your love life, go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products.asp
*******************************************
Is this a contradiction?? How could something that could
help you have success with women beyond your wildest
fantasies..something that could take that old, rusty stuck door
of not getting anywhere or having to "settle" and...
...Make It Swing Wide Open With Excitement, Passion And The
Connections With They Kind Of Women You've Always Wanted.
Well, here is the secret in a nut-shell: women think about
and process language DIFFERENTLY.
We men tend to process words and language through the left
brain. But scientific studies, using brain scans have shown that
women process the same words and phrases using the left AND
right brains; that the same language that evokes little or no
emotional response from men, evokes massive emotional response
from women.
This means that the language that seems funny, bizarre or
off to you, will be processed by women in a way that opens the
deep, emotional, suggestive structures of their minds.
Now, don't get me wrong. All humans, male or female, are
subject to great emotional response, based on symbols. Just
think of the strong emotions that rush through you when you are
traveling in a foreign land and you see the American flag.(This
could be good or bad, depending what country you are from-since
my students come from all around the world, I have to be
careful!)
Of when you hear your countries national anthem. Or when you
see the sun finally come out on a clear day after a long bout of
darkness and rain.
These symbols and events evoke emotion, strongly, in ALL
humans. It is simply that women also happen to have strong
responses to language, spoken and written, that we men simply
usually don't.
What does this really mean for you? That if you can push
past your initial responses that this stuff may seem odd or
weird and instead, understand HOW it works, go out and give it a
try, then....
....The Results You Will See Will Astonish You!
A couple of quick metaphors to help you understand this.
When you go fishing, if you were to go fishing, would you bait
the hook with YOUR favorite snack foods because worms or
crawdads would taste bad to you?
No. You would bait it with what the FISH bites on and
desires.
Finally, supposing you were driving on a country road, late
at night, and a UFO landed right in front of you. Out stepped an
alien from a very advanced species. You knew that if you could
communicate with him, he would unveil incredible technology to
you that could solve world hunger, bring unlimited wealth,
riches, and happiness to the world, end disease, and make your
own personal dreams come true and more. He could unlock the
answer to any question, but..
He didn't speak a word of any language on earth!
Instead, you had to learn to speak to him in HIS language,
something that seemed at first like gibberish, hard to
pronounce, and not making any sense to you.
Would you refuse his offer of a device that would teach you,
in a few weeks, to speak to him in his own tongue, just because
it felt weird and made no sense to you?
Or would you take his language machine, learn to speak to
him in a way that HE understood and responded to, and...
...COLLECT TREASURES AND TECHNOLOGY BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS?
Now look: women are NOT aliens. But sometimes, the way they
process language, words and emotions can make us FEEL like they
are from another planet. Speed Seduction® will hand you that
universal translator/language machine so you can take them on
journeys OUT OF THIS WORLD!
Peace and piece,
Ross Jeffries
P.S. If you want to unstuck yourself and really get kicking
ass with Speed Seduction®, check out this product from
my top student and co-trainer, Dave Riker! It is flying off
our shelves!
http://www.daveriker.com/ssmanual/index.html
This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.
Many times, beginning students have said or written to me,
"I'm just having trouble getting started with this stuff. It's
not that I'm really shy or anything...it's just that this way of
talking seems SO strange to me."
Now listen; I am very aware that a first introduction to
Speed Seduction® can seem overwhelming and also a little, well,
ooky.
After all, if a guy walked up to you and talked to you the
way I am teaching you to talk to women, you'd probably call the
cops or punch him in the mouth. Perhaps if you were an extra
compassionate person, you'd refer him to a mental health clinic
for counseling.
Look, I'm very, very aware that the ways I'm teaching you to
communicate with women seem very strange. Further I'm here to
tell you..
....THEY SHOULD SEEM STRANGE TO YOU!
*******************************************
ADVERTISEMENT
To check out the latest Speed Seduction® products
to super-charge your love life, go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products.asp
*******************************************
Is this a contradiction?? How could something that could
help you have success with women beyond your wildest
fantasies..something that could take that old, rusty stuck door
of not getting anywhere or having to "settle" and...
...Make It Swing Wide Open With Excitement, Passion And The
Connections With They Kind Of Women You've Always Wanted.
Well, here is the secret in a nut-shell: women think about
and process language DIFFERENTLY.
We men tend to process words and language through the left
brain. But scientific studies, using brain scans have shown that
women process the same words and phrases using the left AND
right brains; that the same language that evokes little or no
emotional response from men, evokes massive emotional response
from women.
This means that the language that seems funny, bizarre or
off to you, will be processed by women in a way that opens the
deep, emotional, suggestive structures of their minds.
Now, don't get me wrong. All humans, male or female, are
subject to great emotional response, based on symbols. Just
think of the strong emotions that rush through you when you are
traveling in a foreign land and you see the American flag.(This
could be good or bad, depending what country you are from-since
my students come from all around the world, I have to be
careful!)
Of when you hear your countries national anthem. Or when you
see the sun finally come out on a clear day after a long bout of
darkness and rain.
These symbols and events evoke emotion, strongly, in ALL
humans. It is simply that women also happen to have strong
responses to language, spoken and written, that we men simply
usually don't.
What does this really mean for you? That if you can push
past your initial responses that this stuff may seem odd or
weird and instead, understand HOW it works, go out and give it a
try, then....
....The Results You Will See Will Astonish You!
A couple of quick metaphors to help you understand this.
When you go fishing, if you were to go fishing, would you bait
the hook with YOUR favorite snack foods because worms or
crawdads would taste bad to you?
No. You would bait it with what the FISH bites on and
desires.
Finally, supposing you were driving on a country road, late
at night, and a UFO landed right in front of you. Out stepped an
alien from a very advanced species. You knew that if you could
communicate with him, he would unveil incredible technology to
you that could solve world hunger, bring unlimited wealth,
riches, and happiness to the world, end disease, and make your
own personal dreams come true and more. He could unlock the
answer to any question, but..
He didn't speak a word of any language on earth!
Instead, you had to learn to speak to him in HIS language,
something that seemed at first like gibberish, hard to
pronounce, and not making any sense to you.
Would you refuse his offer of a device that would teach you,
in a few weeks, to speak to him in his own tongue, just because
it felt weird and made no sense to you?
Or would you take his language machine, learn to speak to
him in a way that HE understood and responded to, and...
...COLLECT TREASURES AND TECHNOLOGY BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS?
Now look: women are NOT aliens. But sometimes, the way they
process language, words and emotions can make us FEEL like they
are from another planet. Speed Seduction® will hand you that
universal translator/language machine so you can take them on
journeys OUT OF THIS WORLD!
Peace and piece,
Ross Jeffries
P.S. If you want to unstuck yourself and really get kicking
ass with Speed Seduction®, check out this product from
my top student and co-trainer, Dave Riker! It is flying off
our shelves!
http://www.daveriker.com/ssmanual/index.html
This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
7 Power Attitudes To Skyrocket Your Success With Women!
Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
It's been said that "attitude" determines your "altitude".
In other words, the way you THINK about yourself and a subject
will be as important as what you do.
Well, let's not knock doing the right thing. Effective
action, especially with women, is REQUIRED.
However, your attitude is a big part of how attractive women
will find you. You can consider your attitude to be like the
conductive medium through which the electricity of your BEHAVIOR
will flow. If we take electric current and try to pass it
through:
a. A sheet of cardboard
b. A sheet of copper foil
Which will conduct the current best? Of course, you don't
need to be a physics major to answer: the copper foil. Just so,
your attitude with WOMEN will determine just how well your
"moves" are received. Doesn't that make sense?
With that in mind I give you:
POWER ATTITUDES for ultimate success with women.
1. Being with me is the best possible choice any woman can
make.
Now, can you prove that this is true? No, of course not. It
isn't a factual statement about an objective truth; it's a
position you choose to come from. Now, never verbalize this
attitude, for Christ sake. Don’t get right in a woman's face and
say, "being with me is the best choice you can make, baby. But
show it in how you act.
2. I consistently display the willingness to walk away.
This is one MOST "chumps" miss. You see, if a woman doesn't
get, somewhere in her mind, that she could POSSIBLY do something
to lose you, she will never really feel deep passion for you.
If you are ALWAYS there for her, no matter what, then in
the back of her mind, she will de-value you, to a greater or
lesser degree. Somewhere, somehow, in the back of her mind (or
even the front) she must realize that she COULD one day lose
you!
3. I give a woman a little bit of what she wants, and then
pull back and make her work for more.
As sad as it seems, if you are too giving to a woman, too
soon, you come off as hungry and needy and she just winds up
dumping you. You see, guys who are successful with women give a
free sample, but nice guy losers give away the store. You must,
no MUST learn to say "no", make yourself a little scarce and
unavailable, and keep her a little bit in doubt.
4. I always come from the place of being determined to do
what works.
So many times I've had people whine to me, "Why can't I just
be myself?" What that really means is, "I want to be lazy and do
what I've always done all along, even though it doesn't work!"
Look, to really win big in life, you have to be consistent.
And that means applying these principles, all the time, even
when you don't particularly feel like it, and especially if you
are in a slump.
5. I never attach excess meaning to winning or losing with
women.
I can (and will) do a whole issue on this one, but basically
what I mean is to realize that if a woman accepts you, it
doesn't mean that the next one will, so stay on your toes, and
don't get lazy or sloppy. (See item #4 directly above)
And if she rejects you, it just means that the approach you
tried, at this particular time, with this particular woman,
hasn't worked...yet. It might work at another time with her, or
you may just need another approach. Even if it doesn't, as I
once told a friend of mine who only thought he saw me get
rejected... Dan, I never get rejected. I only discover if a
woman has good taste!!
6. I don't need to win all the time; I size up a woman's
potential and either go for it or move on and cut my losses
FAST.
Sometimes the best choice is just to say, "adios" and move
on. When you realize that you don't have to win all the time,
and then it takes the pressure off and you become much more
relaxed. Ironically, and paradoxically, this almost always leads
to your winning far more often than you ever imagined
possible!!!!
7. I never know what physical type a woman will go for so I
always for it congruently and powerfully.
Listen: women are much more individualistic in what they
like, physically speaking. I once had a gorgeous young thing
tell me that if Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise asked her out, she'd
say, "no" because she only liked tall, thin black men!! You just
don't know, so go for it anyway.
Aren't those just great? Can you imagine how great you'll do
with women when you have these attitudes down and are
manifesting them in your life?
Now, speaking of manifestation, I just had to include this
email testimonial I just recently received:
Dear Ross, Well my "dream girl" girlfriend who is ten years
younger then me proposed to me on Chritsmas Eve. I said yes of
course. The beautiful thing about SS is that it gives you the
tools to touch a woman in a beautiful way so much so that your
communications with her are able to take place on a whole
different level.
I have been on the list for seven years Thank you for
helping me provide the women I have come across with such a
beautiful gift!!!
Sean Morris, Los Angeles, CA
Sean, thank you. It’s great to see when someone finds some
true happiness, using the tools I’ve provided them. By the way,
the “list” Sean is speaking of is the Speed Seduction® yahoo
groups list, for Home Study Course owners only. We now have
close to 2,000 students, worldwide, forming a 24 hour community
to help with questions, challenges and to share successes! So
get your Home Study Course at:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp and join the
community today! YOU ARE NOT ALONE ANYMORE!
‘Til next time,
Peace and piece,
Ross
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright
2004, Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be
reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior
consent, provided all content, including all links,
are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
It's been said that "attitude" determines your "altitude".
In other words, the way you THINK about yourself and a subject
will be as important as what you do.
Well, let's not knock doing the right thing. Effective
action, especially with women, is REQUIRED.
However, your attitude is a big part of how attractive women
will find you. You can consider your attitude to be like the
conductive medium through which the electricity of your BEHAVIOR
will flow. If we take electric current and try to pass it
through:
a. A sheet of cardboard
b. A sheet of copper foil
Which will conduct the current best? Of course, you don't
need to be a physics major to answer: the copper foil. Just so,
your attitude with WOMEN will determine just how well your
"moves" are received. Doesn't that make sense?
With that in mind I give you:
POWER ATTITUDES for ultimate success with women.
1. Being with me is the best possible choice any woman can
make.
Now, can you prove that this is true? No, of course not. It
isn't a factual statement about an objective truth; it's a
position you choose to come from. Now, never verbalize this
attitude, for Christ sake. Don’t get right in a woman's face and
say, "being with me is the best choice you can make, baby. But
show it in how you act.
2. I consistently display the willingness to walk away.
This is one MOST "chumps" miss. You see, if a woman doesn't
get, somewhere in her mind, that she could POSSIBLY do something
to lose you, she will never really feel deep passion for you.
If you are ALWAYS there for her, no matter what, then in
the back of her mind, she will de-value you, to a greater or
lesser degree. Somewhere, somehow, in the back of her mind (or
even the front) she must realize that she COULD one day lose
you!
3. I give a woman a little bit of what she wants, and then
pull back and make her work for more.
As sad as it seems, if you are too giving to a woman, too
soon, you come off as hungry and needy and she just winds up
dumping you. You see, guys who are successful with women give a
free sample, but nice guy losers give away the store. You must,
no MUST learn to say "no", make yourself a little scarce and
unavailable, and keep her a little bit in doubt.
4. I always come from the place of being determined to do
what works.
So many times I've had people whine to me, "Why can't I just
be myself?" What that really means is, "I want to be lazy and do
what I've always done all along, even though it doesn't work!"
Look, to really win big in life, you have to be consistent.
And that means applying these principles, all the time, even
when you don't particularly feel like it, and especially if you
are in a slump.
5. I never attach excess meaning to winning or losing with
women.
I can (and will) do a whole issue on this one, but basically
what I mean is to realize that if a woman accepts you, it
doesn't mean that the next one will, so stay on your toes, and
don't get lazy or sloppy. (See item #4 directly above)
And if she rejects you, it just means that the approach you
tried, at this particular time, with this particular woman,
hasn't worked...yet. It might work at another time with her, or
you may just need another approach. Even if it doesn't, as I
once told a friend of mine who only thought he saw me get
rejected... Dan, I never get rejected. I only discover if a
woman has good taste!!
6. I don't need to win all the time; I size up a woman's
potential and either go for it or move on and cut my losses
FAST.
Sometimes the best choice is just to say, "adios" and move
on. When you realize that you don't have to win all the time,
and then it takes the pressure off and you become much more
relaxed. Ironically, and paradoxically, this almost always leads
to your winning far more often than you ever imagined
possible!!!!
7. I never know what physical type a woman will go for so I
always for it congruently and powerfully.
Listen: women are much more individualistic in what they
like, physically speaking. I once had a gorgeous young thing
tell me that if Mel Gibson or Tom Cruise asked her out, she'd
say, "no" because she only liked tall, thin black men!! You just
don't know, so go for it anyway.
Aren't those just great? Can you imagine how great you'll do
with women when you have these attitudes down and are
manifesting them in your life?
Now, speaking of manifestation, I just had to include this
email testimonial I just recently received:
Dear Ross, Well my "dream girl" girlfriend who is ten years
younger then me proposed to me on Chritsmas Eve. I said yes of
course. The beautiful thing about SS is that it gives you the
tools to touch a woman in a beautiful way so much so that your
communications with her are able to take place on a whole
different level.
I have been on the list for seven years Thank you for
helping me provide the women I have come across with such a
beautiful gift!!!
Sean Morris, Los Angeles, CA
Sean, thank you. It’s great to see when someone finds some
true happiness, using the tools I’ve provided them. By the way,
the “list” Sean is speaking of is the Speed Seduction® yahoo
groups list, for Home Study Course owners only. We now have
close to 2,000 students, worldwide, forming a 24 hour community
to help with questions, challenges and to share successes! So
get your Home Study Course at:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp and join the
community today! YOU ARE NOT ALONE ANYMORE!
‘Til next time,
Peace and piece,
Ross
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright
2004, Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be
reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior
consent, provided all content, including all links,
are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
Friday, January 7, 2011
3 Killer Tips To Triple Your Seduction Success
Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Believe it or not, your old pal Ross actually has his
critics. People who don't like me..People who think I
shouldn't be teaching you what I'm teaching. One of the
things I hear most often from these morons is something
along the likes of, "C'mon now, Ross. What you're talking
about couldn't possibly work. In fact, it sounds like
magic."
Now, I don't really care what these pinheads think. But
I am concerned that YOU, dear reader, understand what Speed
Seduction® is all about. And it certainly ISN'T magic.
Now, don't get me wrong. If you're like some of my
clients when they are first starting out, without having
been intimate with a woman for years and then suddenly you
are enjoying 2, 3 even 4 hot women at a time, , it might
seem like magic.
In fact, Speed Seduction(R) is mechanics.
That means it requires a certain sequence, set of
circumstances and applications in order for it to work.
Within that framework, it's massively powerful, but that
framework still has to be there.
Just like a super-charged, perfectly tuned, 450
horsepower, V-8 engine won't run without the oxygen to burn
the fuel, Speed Seduction only works when there are certain
necessary conditions.
Thankfully those conditions have nothing whatsoever to
do with your looks, age, money, social status or other
"externals" outside of your control. In this issue, I'm
going to review what those conditions are, and how you can
use all this to massively increase the quantity and quality
of your babe hunting.
Condition One:You've Got To Be In The Right Frame Of
Mind
As I've said time and again, the patterns I teach are
NOT just another high tech way to beg you into some girl's
pants. If you view them like this, then, even if you
deliver them flawlessly from a technical standpoint, you
are still going to get nowhere because your weak-ass,
piss-ant, puss-wimp attitude will.......
... ...Totally Annihilate The Emotional States You Are
Attempting To Create In Your Subject! (
How does this self-defeating process take place?
Simple.
As I have said time and again, in any area of life, if
you are coming from a place of hunger, or need, or
desperately trying to prove to yourself that you can win
again, then you almost certainly guaranteed to fail. You'll
simply push away the very thing you want and get locked
into a self-perpetuating "defeat-cycle" that gets you
nowhere.
If you want to be hilariously successful with Speed
Seduction, then you must realize that the patterns aren't
about begging. They certainly aren't about tricking or
misleading.
No, sir, the patterns are about being able to create
such incredible states of pleasure and fun and highs for
her that no one else can, such that she really WANTS to
give you her sexual goodies. They're about creating states
for her that no one else can.
Viewed like this, that incredible babe you want to bed
isn't someone you need to fear. She's someone who's about
to receive an incredible gift from you, a gift she might
continue to receive IF she's smart enough and hot enough
and sexy enough to give you what it takes to keep YOU
coming back for more.
Just imagine the difference when you can look at a
honey-pie and honestly think to yourself, "How good can
this woman stand to feel? Let's go have fun and find out!".
Speaking of fun, another big part of being in the right
frame of mind to make SS work is refusing to take it
seriously.
By that, I mean you take the attitude that you are
experimenting, having fun, and if what you do doesn't work,
you've simply polished your skills and learned something
new.
Let me illustrate this by telling you about one of my
favorite students, David W. David is, to put it charitably,
unattractive. He's 6 foot, 270 pounds, dresses like slob on
his best days, and on a scale of one to 10, 10 being a
Greek god, he's a 3.
David also happens to be sleeping with four gorgeous
women, all of whom are either aerobics instructors or
tri-athletes.
What made this success possible? Well to quote him, "I
thought to myself, hey, since this isn't going to work, I
might as well pick the best looking women in the gym for it
to fail on and see what happens".
Because he didn't need to make it work, and took a
relaxed, experimental attitude, he got out of his own way
and is now the envy of his friends, who still don't believe
him when he told them about my stuff. (
Condition Two: Sufficient Time To Speak With Your
Subject To Run A Minimum Of Two (Preferably Three) Patterns
On Her.
As I'm fond of saying, a lone pattern, by itself, is
like a lone piranha; nasty, but hardly deadly. To be
effective, patterns have to be run in sequences, and I
strongly prefer to stick in a minimum of three.
Can you do patterns strung out over a period of time if
you really don't have much of a chance to talk to a woman?
Sure...but your effectiveness goes WAY down.
Look at it like this; in a boxing match you could land
one solid punch per round, for fifteen rounds, but it's
much more effective to slam the guy with the fifteen
punches one after another.
Condition Three: Enough Flexibility To Get The Initial
Entryway Into Her Neurology
When you start running patterns on a woman, the point
is to find that initial entry into her neurology that
lights her up and gets a strong response.
Sometimes this requires you to cycle through a few
approaches. As an example, I was having dinner with a
friend who I hadn't seen in some time, and I was explaining
to him how SS works. Rather than continue to try to
explain, I decided to demonstrate on our tasty little
waitress. I started out by telling her that I had an
intuition about her, that she was a very visual person.
What was her response? Just about zero. She showed NO
interest and no response. Obviously, appealing to her
visual imagination was not the doorway into her mind.
I then moved to another favorite ploy and allowed her
to "overhear" my staged conversation with my friend,
wherein I talked to him about how women select men for
different roles, but no man can give everything a woman
needs. (This will often get them talking if they have a
boyfriend and aren't happy with him, which is pretty damn
often).
Again, zero response. Zip. Nada. By this time, my old
friend was looking more and more skeptical. Did old Ross
give up...just pack it in and quit? Not on your life,
Cedric.
Next time she came by the table I mentioned the fact
that I had just been reading an article about how men and
women connect with each other. (I was trying to get in here
using the emotional doorway). No luck with this approach
either; perhaps she just didn't know how to read and was
embarrassed by the fact.
How I Changed My “Strategy” To Get Into Her Mind
So by this time, I figured it was time to switch
strategies. Leaning back in my chair, I looked at her
across the restaurant, turned on my intuition and asked
myself, "What can I notice about her that has to be true
that I can use to make a connection?"
What I noticed in this poor, overworked food-server's
case is that she looked tired as hell. So next time she
came by the table I said, "You know, you sure look like you
could use a vacation. If you could imagine your ideal
vacation spot, what would it be like?"
Well, mercy's sake, wouldn't you know that at that
point she dropped straight into trance and begin to imagine
her day on the perfect beach, soaking up the sun, feeling
the warm water and the cool breeze? Of course, from there,
I went straight into the bl*w job pattern, talking about
how interesting it was to me how people connect with their
fantasies and desires and day dreams and about how I was
just reading an article about the difference between
compulsions and anticipation... Did she respond strongly to
this?
Advertisement
To find out how YOU can capture and lead a woman’s
imagination, find a doorway deep into her mind, and get her
hot for you in minutes, just go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp and read all
about the amazing Home Study Course
Only with a super-doggie dinner bowl look that my
Dalmatians couldn't have produced during a hunger strike!
(My Dalmatians would NEVER have gone on a hunger strike!)
Now what is the point of this story? Just that I
wouldn't have been able to do this if I didn't have the
ability/flexibility to keep right on going when the first
three approaches I tried fell flatter than a pre-pubescent
girl's chest.
So look; if you're having some trouble with your Speed
Seduction skills, chances are it's due to a problem with
one of these vital conditions. Pull yourself up short, take
a breather and re-assess what you've been doing. If you've
been putting yourself in situations that are stacked
against you, (e.g., the girl's always too busy to talk, or
your attitude is just plain off) re-arrange things so the
odds are more in your favor. You'll find SS still yields
results for you light-years beyond anything else out there.
After all, David W. has only been able to figure out
how to make it work for him in the gym. He still can't pick
up a girl on the street to save his life. But with four
firm, young, perfect-bodied athletic women to console him I
don't feel too sorry for him. Go thou and do likewise.
‘Til next time,
Piece and Peace,
Ross
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright
2004, Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be
reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior
consent, provided all content, including all links,
are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
Believe it or not, your old pal Ross actually has his
critics. People who don't like me..People who think I
shouldn't be teaching you what I'm teaching. One of the
things I hear most often from these morons is something
along the likes of, "C'mon now, Ross. What you're talking
about couldn't possibly work. In fact, it sounds like
magic."
Now, I don't really care what these pinheads think. But
I am concerned that YOU, dear reader, understand what Speed
Seduction® is all about. And it certainly ISN'T magic.
Now, don't get me wrong. If you're like some of my
clients when they are first starting out, without having
been intimate with a woman for years and then suddenly you
are enjoying 2, 3 even 4 hot women at a time, , it might
seem like magic.
In fact, Speed Seduction(R) is mechanics.
That means it requires a certain sequence, set of
circumstances and applications in order for it to work.
Within that framework, it's massively powerful, but that
framework still has to be there.
Just like a super-charged, perfectly tuned, 450
horsepower, V-8 engine won't run without the oxygen to burn
the fuel, Speed Seduction only works when there are certain
necessary conditions.
Thankfully those conditions have nothing whatsoever to
do with your looks, age, money, social status or other
"externals" outside of your control. In this issue, I'm
going to review what those conditions are, and how you can
use all this to massively increase the quantity and quality
of your babe hunting.
Condition One:You've Got To Be In The Right Frame Of
Mind
As I've said time and again, the patterns I teach are
NOT just another high tech way to beg you into some girl's
pants. If you view them like this, then, even if you
deliver them flawlessly from a technical standpoint, you
are still going to get nowhere because your weak-ass,
piss-ant, puss-wimp attitude will.......
... ...Totally Annihilate The Emotional States You Are
Attempting To Create In Your Subject! (
How does this self-defeating process take place?
Simple.
As I have said time and again, in any area of life, if
you are coming from a place of hunger, or need, or
desperately trying to prove to yourself that you can win
again, then you almost certainly guaranteed to fail. You'll
simply push away the very thing you want and get locked
into a self-perpetuating "defeat-cycle" that gets you
nowhere.
If you want to be hilariously successful with Speed
Seduction, then you must realize that the patterns aren't
about begging. They certainly aren't about tricking or
misleading.
No, sir, the patterns are about being able to create
such incredible states of pleasure and fun and highs for
her that no one else can, such that she really WANTS to
give you her sexual goodies. They're about creating states
for her that no one else can.
Viewed like this, that incredible babe you want to bed
isn't someone you need to fear. She's someone who's about
to receive an incredible gift from you, a gift she might
continue to receive IF she's smart enough and hot enough
and sexy enough to give you what it takes to keep YOU
coming back for more.
Just imagine the difference when you can look at a
honey-pie and honestly think to yourself, "How good can
this woman stand to feel? Let's go have fun and find out!".
Speaking of fun, another big part of being in the right
frame of mind to make SS work is refusing to take it
seriously.
By that, I mean you take the attitude that you are
experimenting, having fun, and if what you do doesn't work,
you've simply polished your skills and learned something
new.
Let me illustrate this by telling you about one of my
favorite students, David W. David is, to put it charitably,
unattractive. He's 6 foot, 270 pounds, dresses like slob on
his best days, and on a scale of one to 10, 10 being a
Greek god, he's a 3.
David also happens to be sleeping with four gorgeous
women, all of whom are either aerobics instructors or
tri-athletes.
What made this success possible? Well to quote him, "I
thought to myself, hey, since this isn't going to work, I
might as well pick the best looking women in the gym for it
to fail on and see what happens".
Because he didn't need to make it work, and took a
relaxed, experimental attitude, he got out of his own way
and is now the envy of his friends, who still don't believe
him when he told them about my stuff. (
Condition Two: Sufficient Time To Speak With Your
Subject To Run A Minimum Of Two (Preferably Three) Patterns
On Her.
As I'm fond of saying, a lone pattern, by itself, is
like a lone piranha; nasty, but hardly deadly. To be
effective, patterns have to be run in sequences, and I
strongly prefer to stick in a minimum of three.
Can you do patterns strung out over a period of time if
you really don't have much of a chance to talk to a woman?
Sure...but your effectiveness goes WAY down.
Look at it like this; in a boxing match you could land
one solid punch per round, for fifteen rounds, but it's
much more effective to slam the guy with the fifteen
punches one after another.
Condition Three: Enough Flexibility To Get The Initial
Entryway Into Her Neurology
When you start running patterns on a woman, the point
is to find that initial entry into her neurology that
lights her up and gets a strong response.
Sometimes this requires you to cycle through a few
approaches. As an example, I was having dinner with a
friend who I hadn't seen in some time, and I was explaining
to him how SS works. Rather than continue to try to
explain, I decided to demonstrate on our tasty little
waitress. I started out by telling her that I had an
intuition about her, that she was a very visual person.
What was her response? Just about zero. She showed NO
interest and no response. Obviously, appealing to her
visual imagination was not the doorway into her mind.
I then moved to another favorite ploy and allowed her
to "overhear" my staged conversation with my friend,
wherein I talked to him about how women select men for
different roles, but no man can give everything a woman
needs. (This will often get them talking if they have a
boyfriend and aren't happy with him, which is pretty damn
often).
Again, zero response. Zip. Nada. By this time, my old
friend was looking more and more skeptical. Did old Ross
give up...just pack it in and quit? Not on your life,
Cedric.
Next time she came by the table I mentioned the fact
that I had just been reading an article about how men and
women connect with each other. (I was trying to get in here
using the emotional doorway). No luck with this approach
either; perhaps she just didn't know how to read and was
embarrassed by the fact.
How I Changed My “Strategy” To Get Into Her Mind
So by this time, I figured it was time to switch
strategies. Leaning back in my chair, I looked at her
across the restaurant, turned on my intuition and asked
myself, "What can I notice about her that has to be true
that I can use to make a connection?"
What I noticed in this poor, overworked food-server's
case is that she looked tired as hell. So next time she
came by the table I said, "You know, you sure look like you
could use a vacation. If you could imagine your ideal
vacation spot, what would it be like?"
Well, mercy's sake, wouldn't you know that at that
point she dropped straight into trance and begin to imagine
her day on the perfect beach, soaking up the sun, feeling
the warm water and the cool breeze? Of course, from there,
I went straight into the bl*w job pattern, talking about
how interesting it was to me how people connect with their
fantasies and desires and day dreams and about how I was
just reading an article about the difference between
compulsions and anticipation... Did she respond strongly to
this?
Advertisement
To find out how YOU can capture and lead a woman’s
imagination, find a doorway deep into her mind, and get her
hot for you in minutes, just go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp and read all
about the amazing Home Study Course
Only with a super-doggie dinner bowl look that my
Dalmatians couldn't have produced during a hunger strike!
(My Dalmatians would NEVER have gone on a hunger strike!)
Now what is the point of this story? Just that I
wouldn't have been able to do this if I didn't have the
ability/flexibility to keep right on going when the first
three approaches I tried fell flatter than a pre-pubescent
girl's chest.
So look; if you're having some trouble with your Speed
Seduction skills, chances are it's due to a problem with
one of these vital conditions. Pull yourself up short, take
a breather and re-assess what you've been doing. If you've
been putting yourself in situations that are stacked
against you, (e.g., the girl's always too busy to talk, or
your attitude is just plain off) re-arrange things so the
odds are more in your favor. You'll find SS still yields
results for you light-years beyond anything else out there.
After all, David W. has only been able to figure out
how to make it work for him in the gym. He still can't pick
up a girl on the street to save his life. But with four
firm, young, perfect-bodied athletic women to console him I
don't feel too sorry for him. Go thou and do likewise.
‘Til next time,
Piece and Peace,
Ross
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright
2004, Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be
reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior
consent, provided all content, including all links,
are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
Friday, December 10, 2010
How To Meet Women, Anytime, Anywhere, Part I
Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
One of the most common questions I have gotten in my 11 years of teaching Speed Seduction® is: what are some good and easy ways to meet women?
Recently, someone sent me an email, where, among other things, he said, “I hate going to clubs and bars, and at 35 years old, I feel out of place in them anyway.”
Now, this is one of the most common questions I get. And it's good to see a guy up there in his 30's still pushing for what he really wants.
Personally, as a 45 year old geezer who is as close to ugly as you can get without getting your face banned by the FDA, I still go for and GET women in their mid 20's(occasionally I will pull a 21-22 year old) and I never set foot in clubs.
But clubs or not, there ARE master keys for a guy of any age, to be meeting women, anytime anywhere. And believe me, this skill IS important.
You see, so many guys who are fixated on one girl, convinced SHE is the woman of their dreams whom they must have would actually dump her in a heartbeat if they knew they could go out and meet 10 hot women that same day they were pining over their 'dream girl"(who probably isn't giving them any anyway).
Hey…I'm sorry if I seem flippant here. But the reality is, the skill of meeting women anytime, anywhere, is crucial to avoiding what I call..
Relationships By Default!
You see, it has long been a theory of mine that MOST men don’t really wind up with the woman they really want. For most men, "dating" is such a form of roll the dice/crap shoot/gambling that they usually wind up settling for the woman who accidentally was attracted to them instead of the woman or women they really want.
Does this sound familiar?
Hey-I'm sorry if this seems harsh to you, but I call 'em like I see 'em. (And wow, did this ever get me booed and even physically attacked when I used to spout it on talk shows way back in the early and mid 90's.
Anyway, enough rambling. What I'm about to introduce you to is light years ahead of anything else out there, primarily because IT DOES NOT RELY ON CANNED LINES.
Yes, lines can be useful. Yes, lines can work. And I'll even give you some that are actually quite good.
But the key to remember is, with any line, it is the ATTITUDE that will determine how well the line works.
The Incredible Power Of Attitudes And Approach Positions
Basically then, there are 4 different attitudes or "approach positions"
The first one I'd like to talk about is one of my very favorite, and I call it "the Blurt Out".
The Blurt Out pretty much is what it sounds like; you "blurt out" whatever is actually going through your mind when you first spot the lady who has your attention, without any "editing" on your part (Ok, here's an exception: if your first thought is, "Damn, I have to touch those breasts!" it's probably best NOT to blurt that out!!
What I like about the Blurt Out is that it is coming from a place of vulnerability and sincerity. It's almost like you are thinking out loud, so women tend to automatically react without suspicion and be much more open and friendly to your approach.
The Blurt Out also works because you are implying something about your confidence, without saying it. What you are implying is, "hey, I'm a sincere guy, with real guts. I'm telling you what I really think, and I'm putting my head on the chopping block and handing you the axe. Will you be a horrible person and a coward and chop my head off or will you be as cool as me and be open to talking?"
The Blurt Out tends to work best with women in motion; either women who are walking directly toward you or women with whom you are walking parallel/side to side.
Just as an example of the Blurt Out in action, I once met a very hot 24 year old Canadian chick. I was in a parking structure for a shopping mall. She was walking up the steps, as I was walking down.
As I passed her I blurted out exactly what I was thinking in that moment, which was, "Wow..you've got style to burn!" just as if I was thinking out loud. She turned around, walked back down the steps and SHE initiated the conversation and later invited me to go get a beer.
That's the key to this approach, again. Just blurt out whatever you are thinking when you see her. Even if your thoughts happen to be shy or fearful, express what you are thinking, as in, "I realized if I kept hesitating, I'd never get to meet you and I'd kick myself for a week. So I had to come up and say SOMETHING. I'm "Your Name Here"
Can you see how totally sincere and disarming this approach could be? Especially for very good looking women who keep having all sorts of bullshit thrown their way.
The Blurt Out Plus The Implied Compliment
With an implied compliment, you don't actually say that YOU think the woman in question is hot or stylish or beautiful. You just imply it by how you state it.
Here's an example: walking around an outdoor mall, I spotted a woman who just walked incredibly gracefully. So I walked beside her and said, "It's just that I really admire women who carry themselves with grace and power..so I had to say "Hi"."
See the implied compliment? I didn't say it directly, I implied it. I said I admired women with who carry themselves with grace and power. Since I was talking to her, that must mean I think that about her.
But HER mind had to fill in the blank and apply the compliment to herself. Since this was an ACTIVE process involving her own mind, it wasn't perceived as coming from an outsider, but rather something she herself thought. And so it goes in without resistance!
This is a sneaky way to communicate, but you'll learn a lot more about the power of implication to move the thoughts, imagination, and emotions of women in ways you can't yet dream possible!
Approach Position Two: Observation, Comment or Question
The second approach position or attitude is what I call the "observation, comment or question". You can combine these with a sense of humor or just do them straight up, and they work best in a setting where neither you or the woman is in motion, so you have some time to make your observation.
The biggest advantage with these is they are non-threatening and you don't have to rely on anything canned to fit the situation.
(By the way, when thinking of something to say, one of the key questions I'll ask myself is, "What can I notice, observe or intuit about this person that I can use to make a connection? A good way to send your mind in the right direction).
Observations, comments and questions of course depend on the situation ongoing, and I usually quickly follow them up with something funny, often a put-on(which is our third approach position or attitude, so we'll get there in a minute).
Real life example: I was in a gas station, filling up my car. The woman next to me was putting gas in her giant white Mercedes. I said, "How do you like your Mercedes?" (See..simple question!)
Her response, "I love it. How do you like your SAAB?"
Ok, she's answering back, so I know at least she's friendly. I said, "I like it."
Then I jumped right to a put-on, which is an easy thing to follow up any comment, observation or question.
I said, "It's too short."
She said, "What? The Mercedes. I think it's pretty long.
I said, "No, it's too short."
She said, "What is?"
I said,"Life…to hestitate…when you meet someone you think is incredibly attractive."
She smiled and said, "Thank you!"
I then playfully hit her on the shoulder and said, "I was talking about ME!"
This got MORE laughter and then names were exchanged, and shortly thereafter, phone numbers as well.
My point: observations, comments and questions can be followed up with almost anything and combined with almost anything.
A favorite question opener of mine actually combines a question with a compliment, as in, "Do you do a martial art? You carry yourself with discpline and elegance..it's a very rare and attractive trait."
By the way, when it comes to compliments to pick up women, I prefer to IMPLY them or combine them with a question and I prefer to strongly compliment a woman on how she moves or her "energy". For some reason these are lot more acceptable and less threatening and perceived as more sincere than direct comments
about her looks.
Approach Position 3: The Put-On
Now we come to my favorite "approach position" the put-on. The put-on is simply a humorous approach where you pretend something to get her attention. For example, if a woman is walking in my direction and is wearing a t-shirt with a logo or design, I will look confused, point at the shirt and say, "I don't get it".
Usually, the response is, "Don't get what?" To which I always say, "The shirt. What's it mean?"
At this point, I almost always get an explanation from her about the logo or symbol, to which my response is to pretend to disagree and argue in the most ridiculous way.
Example: sitting in a yogurt shop, a young lady with very large breasts walked in. She was wearing a tight t-shirt with a slogan that said, "Free the Afghans"!.
I pretended that I thought the shirt was about Afghan DOGS. You know..the shaggy haired, long-legged dogs you sometimes see accompanying models in photo shoots?
I said, "who is holding a bunch of dogs captive? Why do you want to free them? Do you want more dogs to be strays?"
She tried explaining, and I kept misunderstanding. Then I made a joke about being so good looking I didn't need to be smart. Then I introduced myself.
If you want a good idea of the overall attitude for this approach, think of Bugs Bunny. Or Groucho Marx. Or Leslie Nielsen from the "Police Squad" movies.
One more example of a put-on approach. I was sitting in a local café and seated behind me was a very attractive young Asian woman. I observed that she was thinking very hard, talking to herself, trying to figure out her economics book.
So I turned to her and said, as seriously as could, "Could I ask you not to think too loud? You look like a loud thinker, and I have very important writing to do."
My friend, who was sitting across from me said she couldn't stop looking at me after that and could not go back to studying! I turned to her a minute later and said, "Look…I asked you nicely not to think so loud! Don't make me call the management!"
At that point, SHE began a conversation.
There are many, many ways to enjoy a put on. And you can combine it with an observation as in this last example; my observation about this girl was that she really was, "thinking loud"-she was having trouble trying to figure out what she was reading and so she WAS talking to herself, internally, in her head, which is a way of "thinking loud".
Approach Position #4: Genuine Intuition
The final approach position is what I would call a genuine intuition. This is more rare and harder to do. But did you ever find yourself just looking at someone and you just KNEW that person? Like something deep inside you connected with something deep inside them and you just KNEW them?
In this case, when this happens, go with your intuition and tell them what you observe. It's close to an observation, but the difference with this position is, it really isn't something you could pick up with your physical 5 senses.
This is advanced stuff that will come in time, so I wouldn't worry about it for now. But as an example, I was once sitting in my favorite coffee place. As this beautiful blonde woman walked in the door, I saw an image of her on stage, singing. So as she walked by I just said, "How long have you been a singer?"
It totally blew her away. And a long conversation followed. So if you have a strong intuition, just run with it and give it a shot. It's a bit risky, but when it works it has an incredible impact.
Ok. That's it for this issue. Next we'll continue to take up this thread and tell you more great ways to meet women, anytime, anywhere. Until then,
Peace and piece,
Ross
P.S. Want real success and power with the women of your choice, instead of the women you have to settle for? Your Speed Seduction® Home Study Course is waiting for you! Just go to
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp today!
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
One of the most common questions I have gotten in my 11 years of teaching Speed Seduction® is: what are some good and easy ways to meet women?
Recently, someone sent me an email, where, among other things, he said, “I hate going to clubs and bars, and at 35 years old, I feel out of place in them anyway.”
Now, this is one of the most common questions I get. And it's good to see a guy up there in his 30's still pushing for what he really wants.
Personally, as a 45 year old geezer who is as close to ugly as you can get without getting your face banned by the FDA, I still go for and GET women in their mid 20's(occasionally I will pull a 21-22 year old) and I never set foot in clubs.
But clubs or not, there ARE master keys for a guy of any age, to be meeting women, anytime anywhere. And believe me, this skill IS important.
You see, so many guys who are fixated on one girl, convinced SHE is the woman of their dreams whom they must have would actually dump her in a heartbeat if they knew they could go out and meet 10 hot women that same day they were pining over their 'dream girl"(who probably isn't giving them any anyway).
Hey…I'm sorry if I seem flippant here. But the reality is, the skill of meeting women anytime, anywhere, is crucial to avoiding what I call..
Relationships By Default!
You see, it has long been a theory of mine that MOST men don’t really wind up with the woman they really want. For most men, "dating" is such a form of roll the dice/crap shoot/gambling that they usually wind up settling for the woman who accidentally was attracted to them instead of the woman or women they really want.
Does this sound familiar?
Hey-I'm sorry if this seems harsh to you, but I call 'em like I see 'em. (And wow, did this ever get me booed and even physically attacked when I used to spout it on talk shows way back in the early and mid 90's.
Anyway, enough rambling. What I'm about to introduce you to is light years ahead of anything else out there, primarily because IT DOES NOT RELY ON CANNED LINES.
Yes, lines can be useful. Yes, lines can work. And I'll even give you some that are actually quite good.
But the key to remember is, with any line, it is the ATTITUDE that will determine how well the line works.
The Incredible Power Of Attitudes And Approach Positions
Basically then, there are 4 different attitudes or "approach positions"
The first one I'd like to talk about is one of my very favorite, and I call it "the Blurt Out".
The Blurt Out pretty much is what it sounds like; you "blurt out" whatever is actually going through your mind when you first spot the lady who has your attention, without any "editing" on your part (Ok, here's an exception: if your first thought is, "Damn, I have to touch those breasts!" it's probably best NOT to blurt that out!!
What I like about the Blurt Out is that it is coming from a place of vulnerability and sincerity. It's almost like you are thinking out loud, so women tend to automatically react without suspicion and be much more open and friendly to your approach.
The Blurt Out also works because you are implying something about your confidence, without saying it. What you are implying is, "hey, I'm a sincere guy, with real guts. I'm telling you what I really think, and I'm putting my head on the chopping block and handing you the axe. Will you be a horrible person and a coward and chop my head off or will you be as cool as me and be open to talking?"
The Blurt Out tends to work best with women in motion; either women who are walking directly toward you or women with whom you are walking parallel/side to side.
Just as an example of the Blurt Out in action, I once met a very hot 24 year old Canadian chick. I was in a parking structure for a shopping mall. She was walking up the steps, as I was walking down.
As I passed her I blurted out exactly what I was thinking in that moment, which was, "Wow..you've got style to burn!" just as if I was thinking out loud. She turned around, walked back down the steps and SHE initiated the conversation and later invited me to go get a beer.
That's the key to this approach, again. Just blurt out whatever you are thinking when you see her. Even if your thoughts happen to be shy or fearful, express what you are thinking, as in, "I realized if I kept hesitating, I'd never get to meet you and I'd kick myself for a week. So I had to come up and say SOMETHING. I'm "Your Name Here"
Can you see how totally sincere and disarming this approach could be? Especially for very good looking women who keep having all sorts of bullshit thrown their way.
The Blurt Out Plus The Implied Compliment
With an implied compliment, you don't actually say that YOU think the woman in question is hot or stylish or beautiful. You just imply it by how you state it.
Here's an example: walking around an outdoor mall, I spotted a woman who just walked incredibly gracefully. So I walked beside her and said, "It's just that I really admire women who carry themselves with grace and power..so I had to say "Hi"."
See the implied compliment? I didn't say it directly, I implied it. I said I admired women with who carry themselves with grace and power. Since I was talking to her, that must mean I think that about her.
But HER mind had to fill in the blank and apply the compliment to herself. Since this was an ACTIVE process involving her own mind, it wasn't perceived as coming from an outsider, but rather something she herself thought. And so it goes in without resistance!
This is a sneaky way to communicate, but you'll learn a lot more about the power of implication to move the thoughts, imagination, and emotions of women in ways you can't yet dream possible!
Approach Position Two: Observation, Comment or Question
The second approach position or attitude is what I call the "observation, comment or question". You can combine these with a sense of humor or just do them straight up, and they work best in a setting where neither you or the woman is in motion, so you have some time to make your observation.
The biggest advantage with these is they are non-threatening and you don't have to rely on anything canned to fit the situation.
(By the way, when thinking of something to say, one of the key questions I'll ask myself is, "What can I notice, observe or intuit about this person that I can use to make a connection? A good way to send your mind in the right direction).
Observations, comments and questions of course depend on the situation ongoing, and I usually quickly follow them up with something funny, often a put-on(which is our third approach position or attitude, so we'll get there in a minute).
Real life example: I was in a gas station, filling up my car. The woman next to me was putting gas in her giant white Mercedes. I said, "How do you like your Mercedes?" (See..simple question!)
Her response, "I love it. How do you like your SAAB?"
Ok, she's answering back, so I know at least she's friendly. I said, "I like it."
Then I jumped right to a put-on, which is an easy thing to follow up any comment, observation or question.
I said, "It's too short."
She said, "What? The Mercedes. I think it's pretty long.
I said, "No, it's too short."
She said, "What is?"
I said,"Life…to hestitate…when you meet someone you think is incredibly attractive."
She smiled and said, "Thank you!"
I then playfully hit her on the shoulder and said, "I was talking about ME!"
This got MORE laughter and then names were exchanged, and shortly thereafter, phone numbers as well.
My point: observations, comments and questions can be followed up with almost anything and combined with almost anything.
A favorite question opener of mine actually combines a question with a compliment, as in, "Do you do a martial art? You carry yourself with discpline and elegance..it's a very rare and attractive trait."
By the way, when it comes to compliments to pick up women, I prefer to IMPLY them or combine them with a question and I prefer to strongly compliment a woman on how she moves or her "energy". For some reason these are lot more acceptable and less threatening and perceived as more sincere than direct comments
about her looks.
Approach Position 3: The Put-On
Now we come to my favorite "approach position" the put-on. The put-on is simply a humorous approach where you pretend something to get her attention. For example, if a woman is walking in my direction and is wearing a t-shirt with a logo or design, I will look confused, point at the shirt and say, "I don't get it".
Usually, the response is, "Don't get what?" To which I always say, "The shirt. What's it mean?"
At this point, I almost always get an explanation from her about the logo or symbol, to which my response is to pretend to disagree and argue in the most ridiculous way.
Example: sitting in a yogurt shop, a young lady with very large breasts walked in. She was wearing a tight t-shirt with a slogan that said, "Free the Afghans"!.
I pretended that I thought the shirt was about Afghan DOGS. You know..the shaggy haired, long-legged dogs you sometimes see accompanying models in photo shoots?
I said, "who is holding a bunch of dogs captive? Why do you want to free them? Do you want more dogs to be strays?"
She tried explaining, and I kept misunderstanding. Then I made a joke about being so good looking I didn't need to be smart. Then I introduced myself.
If you want a good idea of the overall attitude for this approach, think of Bugs Bunny. Or Groucho Marx. Or Leslie Nielsen from the "Police Squad" movies.
One more example of a put-on approach. I was sitting in a local café and seated behind me was a very attractive young Asian woman. I observed that she was thinking very hard, talking to herself, trying to figure out her economics book.
So I turned to her and said, as seriously as could, "Could I ask you not to think too loud? You look like a loud thinker, and I have very important writing to do."
My friend, who was sitting across from me said she couldn't stop looking at me after that and could not go back to studying! I turned to her a minute later and said, "Look…I asked you nicely not to think so loud! Don't make me call the management!"
At that point, SHE began a conversation.
There are many, many ways to enjoy a put on. And you can combine it with an observation as in this last example; my observation about this girl was that she really was, "thinking loud"-she was having trouble trying to figure out what she was reading and so she WAS talking to herself, internally, in her head, which is a way of "thinking loud".
Approach Position #4: Genuine Intuition
The final approach position is what I would call a genuine intuition. This is more rare and harder to do. But did you ever find yourself just looking at someone and you just KNEW that person? Like something deep inside you connected with something deep inside them and you just KNEW them?
In this case, when this happens, go with your intuition and tell them what you observe. It's close to an observation, but the difference with this position is, it really isn't something you could pick up with your physical 5 senses.
This is advanced stuff that will come in time, so I wouldn't worry about it for now. But as an example, I was once sitting in my favorite coffee place. As this beautiful blonde woman walked in the door, I saw an image of her on stage, singing. So as she walked by I just said, "How long have you been a singer?"
It totally blew her away. And a long conversation followed. So if you have a strong intuition, just run with it and give it a shot. It's a bit risky, but when it works it has an incredible impact.
Ok. That's it for this issue. Next we'll continue to take up this thread and tell you more great ways to meet women, anytime, anywhere. Until then,
Peace and piece,
Ross
P.S. Want real success and power with the women of your choice, instead of the women you have to settle for? Your Speed Seduction® Home Study Course is waiting for you! Just go to
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp today!
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Assertiveness Part 4
HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE IN SPECIFIC SITUATIONS
Being assertive can assist you to overcome awkward situations. Here are a few examples that can assist you to:
SAY "NO"
If you do not want to do something, you do not have to do it! Refusing does not mean you are selfish!
Do not feel compelled to give a reason.
Feel free to strike a compromise. "I can not organize your tag sale and I would be happy to donate some items."
EXPRESS YOUR ANGER
There is nothing wrong with feeling anger; it is the way it is expressed that can hurt people.
Do say something. The other person can not read your mind -- and do not count on sulking to get your message across.
Discuss the issue (and that issue only).
Stay calm
Avoid name-calling
Discuss solutions. Compromise.
"I am irritated that you are continually late. Is there some reason why you can not get here on time? Maybe we can change your schedule." NOT "I am sick and tired of this, you lazy bum!"
ASK FOR ASSISTANCE
Asking for assistance is natural and everybody can use it once in a while.
Make your request direct, clear and specific.
Give the person time to choose if he or she wants to do it.
Make sure the person understands that it is OK to say "No." "I have got to move before the end of the month. Could you lend a hand between the 28th and 30th?"
GIVE AND RECIEVE COMPLIMENTS
If receiving praise is tough for you, then just give a smile, a simple "thank you" or a hug, depending on the situation.
Do not insult the person giving the compliment by saying "Oh, is was nothing" simply say "You are welcome or thank you."
If you truly feel the compliment is underserved, acknowledge that, and still thank the person. "I was a bit disappointed myself and I am glad you liked it. Thanks for the support.
When giving praise, be sincere and specific.
PRACTICE YOUR ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS
Becoming assertive takes time and practice. Here is a plan that may assist.
1. SELECT A SITUATION in which you would like to be assertive. "I would like to tell my friends that I do not want to go out with them every Friday night."
2. OBSERVE HOW OTHERS ACT in the same situation. "Dibbie makes excuses. It works, and some people doubt her truthfulness. Tom simply says, "No, thank you. I would rather not.
3.REHEARSE THE SCENE by planning what you will say, how you will make your point. Practice in front of the mirror to be sure you look and act confident as well.
4. GO DO IT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS "I do not want to go our tonight. I would just like to stay home and relax."
5. EVALUATE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE and be critical and do not be too hard on yourself. "I could improve my eye contact. I was direct, I did not make excuses and it worked."
6. DO IT AGAIN .. You can do it!
YOU CAN BECOME ASSERTIVE AS NEVER BEFORE
SAY what is on your mind.
EXPRESS yourself directly, honestly and appropriately
RESPECT you own rights and the rights of others
Being assertive will make a difference in your life ... A DIFFERENCE YOU WILL ENJOY
Being assertive can assist you to overcome awkward situations. Here are a few examples that can assist you to:
SAY "NO"
If you do not want to do something, you do not have to do it! Refusing does not mean you are selfish!
Do not feel compelled to give a reason.
Feel free to strike a compromise. "I can not organize your tag sale and I would be happy to donate some items."
EXPRESS YOUR ANGER
There is nothing wrong with feeling anger; it is the way it is expressed that can hurt people.
Do say something. The other person can not read your mind -- and do not count on sulking to get your message across.
Discuss the issue (and that issue only).
Stay calm
Avoid name-calling
Discuss solutions. Compromise.
"I am irritated that you are continually late. Is there some reason why you can not get here on time? Maybe we can change your schedule." NOT "I am sick and tired of this, you lazy bum!"
ASK FOR ASSISTANCE
Asking for assistance is natural and everybody can use it once in a while.
Make your request direct, clear and specific.
Give the person time to choose if he or she wants to do it.
Make sure the person understands that it is OK to say "No." "I have got to move before the end of the month. Could you lend a hand between the 28th and 30th?"
GIVE AND RECIEVE COMPLIMENTS
If receiving praise is tough for you, then just give a smile, a simple "thank you" or a hug, depending on the situation.
Do not insult the person giving the compliment by saying "Oh, is was nothing" simply say "You are welcome or thank you."
If you truly feel the compliment is underserved, acknowledge that, and still thank the person. "I was a bit disappointed myself and I am glad you liked it. Thanks for the support.
When giving praise, be sincere and specific.
PRACTICE YOUR ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS
Becoming assertive takes time and practice. Here is a plan that may assist.
1. SELECT A SITUATION in which you would like to be assertive. "I would like to tell my friends that I do not want to go out with them every Friday night."
2. OBSERVE HOW OTHERS ACT in the same situation. "Dibbie makes excuses. It works, and some people doubt her truthfulness. Tom simply says, "No, thank you. I would rather not.
3.REHEARSE THE SCENE by planning what you will say, how you will make your point. Practice in front of the mirror to be sure you look and act confident as well.
4. GO DO IT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS "I do not want to go our tonight. I would just like to stay home and relax."
5. EVALUATE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE and be critical and do not be too hard on yourself. "I could improve my eye contact. I was direct, I did not make excuses and it worked."
6. DO IT AGAIN .. You can do it!
YOU CAN BECOME ASSERTIVE AS NEVER BEFORE
SAY what is on your mind.
EXPRESS yourself directly, honestly and appropriately
RESPECT you own rights and the rights of others
Being assertive will make a difference in your life ... A DIFFERENCE YOU WILL ENJOY
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Attraction Secrets Of The TRUE Alpha Male
Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
Recently, I got asked the following question, which has been coming up more and more lately:
"What's all this stuff about being a "cocky/funny" "Alpha" male? Is it true that "busting" on a woman and being "Alpha" is what it really takes to get the kind of hot women most men really want?"
You know, it's kind of flattering when I get these kind of questions. It shows that the huge numbers of Ross Jeffries impersonators and imitators are still falling flat on their faces trying to eat my dust in the "Get Girls" advice game.
Look: there is nothing wrong, per se, with being "cocky and funny". Hell,. I even gave advice on exactly how to do this way back in 1988 when I wrote my original book, "How To Get The Women You Desire Into Bed".
But cocky and funny, by itself, is not going to get you laid, unless you happen to already be so good looking that she gets a tingle in her clit just by looking at you.
What cocky and funny can do is get you past her initial, "Is this just another loser guy?" screening tests. It will get her attention, and hold it..for a little while. It will get you past her first set of screens and keep you in here…for a little while.
The Problem With Always "Busting" On Women!
The problem is, "busting" a girl like this eventually has to turn into something better and deeper or she is going to get bored, insulted and blow you off, unless as I said before, you happen to be so good looking you make her wet just by standing their.
Really, you need to take the advice you get from some of these "cocky funny" and "alpha male" dudes with a huge grain of salt. Can you really get women just by doing what a great looking guy does to get them?
Could you win a fist fight in a bar by doing what a guy who is 6 foot 10 and 350 lbs of solid muscle does to win a fight-just make sure you throw the first punch and then jump on the guy?
So, cocky and funny will get attention and get you in the door. But then, as I keep saying, you need to be able to lead the conversation into the topics and themes that are most likely to trigger her deep and intense feeling "recipes" so you can STICK YOUR DOUGH IN HER OVEN and BAKE YOUR COOKIES, good buddy!
Now, as for this alpha male crap-holy friggin' frijoles.
The stuff I read about this from my "rival" Gurus really makes me want to tear out my hair and scream.
First of all, these guys are postulating some kind of evolutionary biological mechanism in a woman's mind that somehow makes her ready for mating if you just act tough and push her around, and constantly show her who is the boss.
Aside from the fact that there is, in fact, no scientific evidence at all for such theories (and in fact, studies of our closest genetic relatives, the pygmy chimp or bonobos show the opposite-that it is the males who are co-operative and stick around to help with the infants that actually get laid the most!) it misses a larger point.
It is NOT that women like "Alphas", however badly defined that may be.
****************************************************************
SPECIAL NOTICE: To see a free video clip of me discussing the "nice guy/alpha guy" problem, just go right now to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/audvid/nomorefear.mov
***************************************************************
The reality is that humans, male and female, like and respond to LEADERSHIP. And LEADERSHIP has little or nothing to do with the silly, teenage, juvenile posturing and high school games these "Double Your Masturbating" guys are teaching you.
Now LEADERSHIP isn't just about being bossy or pushing people around. LEADERSHIP is about having a twin set of skills, a set of skills that both balance and compliment each other.
Those are the skills of being able to strongly guide and set the direction and also being able to listen and gather information.
The problem with always being "Alpha" as defined by wanna-be Ross Jeffries imitators, is that it requires you never co-operate, never relax or loosen up, and most importantly never listen to or gather information about the woman you desire.
In the mind of these buffoons(and I'm being charitable with the name calling here-these guys should be seriously horse-whipped) asking questions and gathering information about a woman is viewed as trying to "prove" or "qualify" yourself and makes you look like a pussy.
In fact, listening to a woman while you set a strong direction and remain in the lead is an IDEAL combination for rapidly appearing to her as very attractive.
Nice Guy Vs. Jerk-A Totally False Choice To Screw Up Your Mind
The problem is, we guys are given a false choice between two bad extremes:
1. Be the "nice guy". The problem with nice guys is, they
not only listen to a woman to find out where she is at, they actually wind up GOING THERE THEMSELVES, totally losing themselves in her emotions, desires and wants. They let her reality over take and rule their own! YUCCH!
2. Be the "jerk". Now, jerks have no problem holding a strong desire and intent. The problem is, they don't' care at all about a woman's reality so they never even bother really find out who she is, what would really deeply please her and so they wind up having to constantly recruit new women to sucker in! Again, YUCCH!
Leadership: The True Skill And Challenge!
The true skill set is being able to keep your own desire and intent strong, while at the same time recognizing, listening to, and gathering information about the other person. THIS ability is a core, key skill to not only being truly "Alpha" with women, but to being a leader in life in general, not just with women, but with men as well.
And this ability is part of what gives women that positive "vibe" that makes them drawn to you.
Another aspect of being truly "Alpha", in terms of being a leader, is the ability to look at what you are doing in your
behavior and thinking with both ruthless clarity and total and complete compassion and non-blaming.
You see, most people won't even look at their mistakes, for fear they can't correct them or for fear that they will hate themselves and beat themselves up over them.
And the few who will look at their mistakes usually get so depressed or angry about it, they fail to really ever correct them.
So I'm here to tell you that this very rare form of believing in yourself-the ability to embrace your mistakes and quickly learn from them without attaching pain, blame or self-hate puts you ahead of 99.9999% of the population on this planet.
And it is exactly THIS kind of super-rare real "confidence"-the confidence to move ahead and keep improving yourself and trying new things- that will make you massively attractive to women in a way that they won't be able to "put their finger" on.
Remember, unlike us guys, women pick up on "VIBES". This "vibe" of true Alpha will get them so hot and horny, they won't understand why they are wetting themselves around you. And you'll never have to put them down, act like a moron, or "bust" on them like a High School boy who's got a crush on some girl in study hall.
This is the real, dignified confidence of a TRUE LEADER, a
man.
True, Deep-Level Self-Control: Catnip To Women!
The final aspect of a being alpha is being able to gain control over your beliefs, intent, awareness and design for yourself the kind of person you would like to be. This requires not just the use of will, but also of imagination and envisioning yourself and your future. Again something that requires discernment, discipline and direction.
Are you really going to get this from grown men who are
still advising you act like a High School boy, "busting" on that cute girl in study hall?
I really don't think so.
Becoming a TRUE leader, a real "Alpha" may be a bit more complex and require more discernment, direction and depth on your part. But it's THE way to attract and enjoy women you can like, love and respect. Something the "Alpha/Pick Up" "gurus" haven't got a clue about and could never, ever teach about or tell you.
Think about it….
Til next issue,
Piece and Peace,
Ross
P.S. By now, you ought to realize, for all your own reasons, you WANT a Speed Seduction(R) Home Study Course! Just go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
Recently, I got asked the following question, which has been coming up more and more lately:
"What's all this stuff about being a "cocky/funny" "Alpha" male? Is it true that "busting" on a woman and being "Alpha" is what it really takes to get the kind of hot women most men really want?"
You know, it's kind of flattering when I get these kind of questions. It shows that the huge numbers of Ross Jeffries impersonators and imitators are still falling flat on their faces trying to eat my dust in the "Get Girls" advice game.
Look: there is nothing wrong, per se, with being "cocky and funny". Hell,. I even gave advice on exactly how to do this way back in 1988 when I wrote my original book, "How To Get The Women You Desire Into Bed".
But cocky and funny, by itself, is not going to get you laid, unless you happen to already be so good looking that she gets a tingle in her clit just by looking at you.
What cocky and funny can do is get you past her initial, "Is this just another loser guy?" screening tests. It will get her attention, and hold it..for a little while. It will get you past her first set of screens and keep you in here…for a little while.
The Problem With Always "Busting" On Women!
The problem is, "busting" a girl like this eventually has to turn into something better and deeper or she is going to get bored, insulted and blow you off, unless as I said before, you happen to be so good looking you make her wet just by standing their.
Really, you need to take the advice you get from some of these "cocky funny" and "alpha male" dudes with a huge grain of salt. Can you really get women just by doing what a great looking guy does to get them?
Could you win a fist fight in a bar by doing what a guy who is 6 foot 10 and 350 lbs of solid muscle does to win a fight-just make sure you throw the first punch and then jump on the guy?
So, cocky and funny will get attention and get you in the door. But then, as I keep saying, you need to be able to lead the conversation into the topics and themes that are most likely to trigger her deep and intense feeling "recipes" so you can STICK YOUR DOUGH IN HER OVEN and BAKE YOUR COOKIES, good buddy!
Now, as for this alpha male crap-holy friggin' frijoles.
The stuff I read about this from my "rival" Gurus really makes me want to tear out my hair and scream.
First of all, these guys are postulating some kind of evolutionary biological mechanism in a woman's mind that somehow makes her ready for mating if you just act tough and push her around, and constantly show her who is the boss.
Aside from the fact that there is, in fact, no scientific evidence at all for such theories (and in fact, studies of our closest genetic relatives, the pygmy chimp or bonobos show the opposite-that it is the males who are co-operative and stick around to help with the infants that actually get laid the most!) it misses a larger point.
It is NOT that women like "Alphas", however badly defined that may be.
****************************************************************
SPECIAL NOTICE: To see a free video clip of me discussing the "nice guy/alpha guy" problem, just go right now to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/audvid/nomorefear.mov
***************************************************************
The reality is that humans, male and female, like and respond to LEADERSHIP. And LEADERSHIP has little or nothing to do with the silly, teenage, juvenile posturing and high school games these "Double Your Masturbating" guys are teaching you.
Now LEADERSHIP isn't just about being bossy or pushing people around. LEADERSHIP is about having a twin set of skills, a set of skills that both balance and compliment each other.
Those are the skills of being able to strongly guide and set the direction and also being able to listen and gather information.
The problem with always being "Alpha" as defined by wanna-be Ross Jeffries imitators, is that it requires you never co-operate, never relax or loosen up, and most importantly never listen to or gather information about the woman you desire.
In the mind of these buffoons(and I'm being charitable with the name calling here-these guys should be seriously horse-whipped) asking questions and gathering information about a woman is viewed as trying to "prove" or "qualify" yourself and makes you look like a pussy.
In fact, listening to a woman while you set a strong direction and remain in the lead is an IDEAL combination for rapidly appearing to her as very attractive.
Nice Guy Vs. Jerk-A Totally False Choice To Screw Up Your Mind
The problem is, we guys are given a false choice between two bad extremes:
1. Be the "nice guy". The problem with nice guys is, they
not only listen to a woman to find out where she is at, they actually wind up GOING THERE THEMSELVES, totally losing themselves in her emotions, desires and wants. They let her reality over take and rule their own! YUCCH!
2. Be the "jerk". Now, jerks have no problem holding a strong desire and intent. The problem is, they don't' care at all about a woman's reality so they never even bother really find out who she is, what would really deeply please her and so they wind up having to constantly recruit new women to sucker in! Again, YUCCH!
Leadership: The True Skill And Challenge!
The true skill set is being able to keep your own desire and intent strong, while at the same time recognizing, listening to, and gathering information about the other person. THIS ability is a core, key skill to not only being truly "Alpha" with women, but to being a leader in life in general, not just with women, but with men as well.
And this ability is part of what gives women that positive "vibe" that makes them drawn to you.
Another aspect of being truly "Alpha", in terms of being a leader, is the ability to look at what you are doing in your
behavior and thinking with both ruthless clarity and total and complete compassion and non-blaming.
You see, most people won't even look at their mistakes, for fear they can't correct them or for fear that they will hate themselves and beat themselves up over them.
And the few who will look at their mistakes usually get so depressed or angry about it, they fail to really ever correct them.
So I'm here to tell you that this very rare form of believing in yourself-the ability to embrace your mistakes and quickly learn from them without attaching pain, blame or self-hate puts you ahead of 99.9999% of the population on this planet.
And it is exactly THIS kind of super-rare real "confidence"-the confidence to move ahead and keep improving yourself and trying new things- that will make you massively attractive to women in a way that they won't be able to "put their finger" on.
Remember, unlike us guys, women pick up on "VIBES". This "vibe" of true Alpha will get them so hot and horny, they won't understand why they are wetting themselves around you. And you'll never have to put them down, act like a moron, or "bust" on them like a High School boy who's got a crush on some girl in study hall.
This is the real, dignified confidence of a TRUE LEADER, a
man.
True, Deep-Level Self-Control: Catnip To Women!
The final aspect of a being alpha is being able to gain control over your beliefs, intent, awareness and design for yourself the kind of person you would like to be. This requires not just the use of will, but also of imagination and envisioning yourself and your future. Again something that requires discernment, discipline and direction.
Are you really going to get this from grown men who are
still advising you act like a High School boy, "busting" on that cute girl in study hall?
I really don't think so.
Becoming a TRUE leader, a real "Alpha" may be a bit more complex and require more discernment, direction and depth on your part. But it's THE way to attract and enjoy women you can like, love and respect. Something the "Alpha/Pick Up" "gurus" haven't got a clue about and could never, ever teach about or tell you.
Think about it….
Til next issue,
Piece and Peace,
Ross
P.S. By now, you ought to realize, for all your own reasons, you WANT a Speed Seduction(R) Home Study Course! Just go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
Monday, March 8, 2010
How To Overcome Anxiety And Fear With Women
Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
One of the most common scenarios students present me with is this:
"I do fine if I am introduced to women or already know them. But walking up to a stranger, dead cold, in any situation, scares the bejezus out of me. I just cannot do it. What can I do to resolve this?"
Over the years, I have seen this question or variations on it more times than I can count. If you have felt shy, anxious or even afraid of women, especially beautiful ones, I can assure you that you are far from alone. In fact, I would have to say that fear and shyness around women is so common among men, it's close to being an epidemic.
Now, this "fear factor" can strike guys at different stages. For most, it has to do with the initial approach/ice breaking. For a few guys, approaching is easy, but they freeze up when it comes time to making that serious physical pass. Wherever you may be having your "fear" or "shyness" or "freezing" problem, the good news is that there are powerful solutions to this that can get you going rapidly in the direction you want, without fear, shyness or shame.
I am here to tell you that you can rapidly overcome all of this, just as thousands of guys I have taught have done. I can also assure you that this kind of fear effects guys from all walks of life, from rich to poor, from unathletic dudes to even former U.S Special Forces soldiers. Yes, I mean guys who would have no problem jumping from planes, running through mind fields and dodging bullets have flat out told me, face to face, women scare them silly. The good news, this can all be rapidly overcome with some awareness of how you are producing your shyness and fear and a little retraining of your mind.
Your Fear Is Not A "Thing"
Here is why: "fear" and "shyness" or "hesitation" are not THINGS that happen to you even though it may seem that way.
Remember we spoke in a previous issue about how a woman's "feelings" don't just happen to her by some mysterious magic, but are the result of a recipe or process she runs on herself?
It's the same for any kind of feelings, positive or
negative, that anyone experiences.
Remember this rule for personal change; whatever it is that is troubling you, has a structure and a process, and that it means it can be changed, and even blown apart.
You don't have a bunch of "fear" or "shyness" or
"hesitation" fluid running through your body, like transmission fluid in a car that some mind mechanic has to drain out so you can then be "confident". "Fear" or "shyness" or "hesitation" are internal mental processes that you DO to yourself.
You don't HAVE "shyness". You DO "shyness", usually so
quickly and outside of your awareness of how you are doing it that it seems like something that is just happening to you.
I repeat it again: all humans have their "recipes"-
internal mental processes they do to themselves that produce the final resulting "feelings" of fear, confidence, assurance, calm, etc. So you too have some internal "recipe" that produces your shyness, or hesitation or fear. .
This means that by changing one or more of the elements of your recipe-how you are talking to yourself, what you are visualizing, the flow of energy in your body or your posture and breathing, the resulting "feelings" that come out the other end can be rapidly and radically changed, even if you have suffered from them for a lifetime!
Here's A Method Guaranteed To Work!
We'll examine how to do this in detail, but I want to talk about the most powerful and easily shifted element of any internal "fear" recipe. It's one that most people never even consider, but I will explain not only how to use it to immediately rid yourself of all fear and nervousness around women, but also the science behind it so you will know WHY it works.
I'm talking about the power of your breath. You can look at your breath as the single key ingredient for controlling and designing your state of mind with women. Why is this? Simply because the part of your brain that controls the fight or flight response-that rushing of adrenaline that makes you shake, get short of breath, feel jumpy and want to run from a woman, or just get passive and withdraw-that part of the brain is intimately linked to your breath.
Put simply, you cannot go into the "flight or fight"
response if you learn to control your breath. Control the breath in any situation and you will remain calm; if you've studied any kind of martial arts, you already know this. By controlling your breath and cutting off the fight-flight mechanism, you activate the creative and adaptive layer of your brain, the layer of the brain that is relatively new in terms of evolution.
This layer of your brain can is the same part that helps you think on your feet, adapt to the situation in front of you, remember to try new behaviors, etc. It's also the part of your brain that lets you come up with exactly the right move or exactly the right thing to say an hour after the woman has walked away and you've already calmed down! We want you calmed down, immediately, so you can take advantage of and enjoy the new skills we'll teach you to succeed in every situation! Is this all making sense?
Can you now imagine the power of remaining totally calm, relaxed, confident and secure, in every situation with women?
Now, please remember, this is a practice. Retraining the brain takes some focus, discipline, repetition and time, but it can be done. So do this as a practice, ten minutes a day, every day, for at least the next 2-3 weeks and get ready to enjoy the results you will feel!
A Breath Practice To Destroy All Fear With Women
The first thing I want you to do is take a deep, deep breath in through your nose. Do it right now as you read this. As you breathe in, do it by expanding your rib cage and imagine you are breathing into the center of your chest. Complete the inhale by expanding your belly and pushing it out. Now hold the breath for a just a moment. Begin exhaling, also through your nose. This time, when you exhale, pull your belly toward your spine. Empty your lungs of air and at the end of the exhale, pause for just a
moment. Notice how you can feel that calm moment of silence at the end of the inhale and the end of the exhale.
Ok. Here comes the piece we want to add in. This will really help totally disrupt your fear response. Take another inhale, just like last time, through the nose. This time, as you do, imagine there is a soft line of energy moving down the front of your body and imagine it pooling in the space between your belly button and your pubic bone. In the martial arts, this place is known as the hara, or t'an t'ien. Imagine it swirling there in a clockwise or counter clockwise direction. Either way will work.
When you are finished inhaling, hold the breath for just a moment and feel the calm and silence. Now, when you exhale (through the nose), pull your belly toward your spine and imagine a strong line of energy-an energy of strong will and intent-moving from the small of your back, up your spine and straight out through the top of your head. Feel the strength up your spine and your clarity of mine when you do this strong exhale.
Please note here, when I say "imagine energy" what you ought to do is see some kind of color or feel some kind of feeling-like warmth or heat or tingling, or even a combination of both. It doesn't have to be vivid or super-real; just an idea that this is happening will do.
The keys here: when you inhale, the energy you feel or imagine is soft and relaxed and moves down the front of the body. Almost like a feather brushing the surface of your skin. You imagine it gathering, pooling and swirling in the space between your belly button and pubic pone. When you exhale, the energy going up the spine is inside your body, in your spine, rather than on the surface of the skin. And it is strong AND calm. A relaxed determination. By the way, energetically speaking, this is what women mean when they say they want a guy with "backbone"!!)
They are using a metaphor to describe something that is quite "energetically "real) When you really feel this calm, relaxed, determined feeling, put the fingertip of the first finger of your right hand on the tip of your thumb and touch it gently. As the feelings increase, increase the pressure of the fingertip against the tip of your thumb. You have now created a "calm/confident' anchor for yourself, so when you find yourself in a real world situation with women that's a bit scary, simply do one of the breath cycles (inhale and exhale) as you place your thumb and finger tip together. Increase the pressure of fingertip against thumb to increase the feelings of calm, confident power. I want you to practice this breathing for 10 minutes a day, sitting comfortably or standing.
Ok. Once again, I've overloaded you with information (you should see me at one of my 3 day seminars!). Once again, print this newsletter out, take some time to study it, and re-read it a couple of times again!
Till next issue,
Piece and Peace,
Ross
P.S. Want to wipe out your fear of women in minutes? Check out my new Fear Into Charisma video (with free viewable clips) at
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj180.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
One of the most common scenarios students present me with is this:
"I do fine if I am introduced to women or already know them. But walking up to a stranger, dead cold, in any situation, scares the bejezus out of me. I just cannot do it. What can I do to resolve this?"
Over the years, I have seen this question or variations on it more times than I can count. If you have felt shy, anxious or even afraid of women, especially beautiful ones, I can assure you that you are far from alone. In fact, I would have to say that fear and shyness around women is so common among men, it's close to being an epidemic.
Now, this "fear factor" can strike guys at different stages. For most, it has to do with the initial approach/ice breaking. For a few guys, approaching is easy, but they freeze up when it comes time to making that serious physical pass. Wherever you may be having your "fear" or "shyness" or "freezing" problem, the good news is that there are powerful solutions to this that can get you going rapidly in the direction you want, without fear, shyness or shame.
I am here to tell you that you can rapidly overcome all of this, just as thousands of guys I have taught have done. I can also assure you that this kind of fear effects guys from all walks of life, from rich to poor, from unathletic dudes to even former U.S Special Forces soldiers. Yes, I mean guys who would have no problem jumping from planes, running through mind fields and dodging bullets have flat out told me, face to face, women scare them silly. The good news, this can all be rapidly overcome with some awareness of how you are producing your shyness and fear and a little retraining of your mind.
Your Fear Is Not A "Thing"
Here is why: "fear" and "shyness" or "hesitation" are not THINGS that happen to you even though it may seem that way.
Remember we spoke in a previous issue about how a woman's "feelings" don't just happen to her by some mysterious magic, but are the result of a recipe or process she runs on herself?
It's the same for any kind of feelings, positive or
negative, that anyone experiences.
Remember this rule for personal change; whatever it is that is troubling you, has a structure and a process, and that it means it can be changed, and even blown apart.
You don't have a bunch of "fear" or "shyness" or
"hesitation" fluid running through your body, like transmission fluid in a car that some mind mechanic has to drain out so you can then be "confident". "Fear" or "shyness" or "hesitation" are internal mental processes that you DO to yourself.
You don't HAVE "shyness". You DO "shyness", usually so
quickly and outside of your awareness of how you are doing it that it seems like something that is just happening to you.
I repeat it again: all humans have their "recipes"-
internal mental processes they do to themselves that produce the final resulting "feelings" of fear, confidence, assurance, calm, etc. So you too have some internal "recipe" that produces your shyness, or hesitation or fear. .
This means that by changing one or more of the elements of your recipe-how you are talking to yourself, what you are visualizing, the flow of energy in your body or your posture and breathing, the resulting "feelings" that come out the other end can be rapidly and radically changed, even if you have suffered from them for a lifetime!
Here's A Method Guaranteed To Work!
We'll examine how to do this in detail, but I want to talk about the most powerful and easily shifted element of any internal "fear" recipe. It's one that most people never even consider, but I will explain not only how to use it to immediately rid yourself of all fear and nervousness around women, but also the science behind it so you will know WHY it works.
I'm talking about the power of your breath. You can look at your breath as the single key ingredient for controlling and designing your state of mind with women. Why is this? Simply because the part of your brain that controls the fight or flight response-that rushing of adrenaline that makes you shake, get short of breath, feel jumpy and want to run from a woman, or just get passive and withdraw-that part of the brain is intimately linked to your breath.
Put simply, you cannot go into the "flight or fight"
response if you learn to control your breath. Control the breath in any situation and you will remain calm; if you've studied any kind of martial arts, you already know this. By controlling your breath and cutting off the fight-flight mechanism, you activate the creative and adaptive layer of your brain, the layer of the brain that is relatively new in terms of evolution.
This layer of your brain can is the same part that helps you think on your feet, adapt to the situation in front of you, remember to try new behaviors, etc. It's also the part of your brain that lets you come up with exactly the right move or exactly the right thing to say an hour after the woman has walked away and you've already calmed down! We want you calmed down, immediately, so you can take advantage of and enjoy the new skills we'll teach you to succeed in every situation! Is this all making sense?
Can you now imagine the power of remaining totally calm, relaxed, confident and secure, in every situation with women?
Now, please remember, this is a practice. Retraining the brain takes some focus, discipline, repetition and time, but it can be done. So do this as a practice, ten minutes a day, every day, for at least the next 2-3 weeks and get ready to enjoy the results you will feel!
A Breath Practice To Destroy All Fear With Women
The first thing I want you to do is take a deep, deep breath in through your nose. Do it right now as you read this. As you breathe in, do it by expanding your rib cage and imagine you are breathing into the center of your chest. Complete the inhale by expanding your belly and pushing it out. Now hold the breath for a just a moment. Begin exhaling, also through your nose. This time, when you exhale, pull your belly toward your spine. Empty your lungs of air and at the end of the exhale, pause for just a
moment. Notice how you can feel that calm moment of silence at the end of the inhale and the end of the exhale.
Ok. Here comes the piece we want to add in. This will really help totally disrupt your fear response. Take another inhale, just like last time, through the nose. This time, as you do, imagine there is a soft line of energy moving down the front of your body and imagine it pooling in the space between your belly button and your pubic bone. In the martial arts, this place is known as the hara, or t'an t'ien. Imagine it swirling there in a clockwise or counter clockwise direction. Either way will work.
When you are finished inhaling, hold the breath for just a moment and feel the calm and silence. Now, when you exhale (through the nose), pull your belly toward your spine and imagine a strong line of energy-an energy of strong will and intent-moving from the small of your back, up your spine and straight out through the top of your head. Feel the strength up your spine and your clarity of mine when you do this strong exhale.
Please note here, when I say "imagine energy" what you ought to do is see some kind of color or feel some kind of feeling-like warmth or heat or tingling, or even a combination of both. It doesn't have to be vivid or super-real; just an idea that this is happening will do.
The keys here: when you inhale, the energy you feel or imagine is soft and relaxed and moves down the front of the body. Almost like a feather brushing the surface of your skin. You imagine it gathering, pooling and swirling in the space between your belly button and pubic pone. When you exhale, the energy going up the spine is inside your body, in your spine, rather than on the surface of the skin. And it is strong AND calm. A relaxed determination. By the way, energetically speaking, this is what women mean when they say they want a guy with "backbone"!!)
They are using a metaphor to describe something that is quite "energetically "real) When you really feel this calm, relaxed, determined feeling, put the fingertip of the first finger of your right hand on the tip of your thumb and touch it gently. As the feelings increase, increase the pressure of the fingertip against the tip of your thumb. You have now created a "calm/confident' anchor for yourself, so when you find yourself in a real world situation with women that's a bit scary, simply do one of the breath cycles (inhale and exhale) as you place your thumb and finger tip together. Increase the pressure of fingertip against thumb to increase the feelings of calm, confident power. I want you to practice this breathing for 10 minutes a day, sitting comfortably or standing.
Ok. Once again, I've overloaded you with information (you should see me at one of my 3 day seminars!). Once again, print this newsletter out, take some time to study it, and re-read it a couple of times again!
Till next issue,
Piece and Peace,
Ross
P.S. Want to wipe out your fear of women in minutes? Check out my new Fear Into Charisma video (with free viewable clips) at
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj180.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
Monday, February 22, 2010
What To Say To Meet Women ANYWHERE!
Dear Speed Seduction(R) Student,
Today I received the following question in email:
*****************************************************
I was wondering Ross, if you can suggest some icebreakers or opening lines to initiate conversations with? Like when you see an attractive girl and you want to approach her but you're not sure what to say. You want to say something but you're not sure what and then you think about it to long and its to late!
You know something comfortable that girls will smile at and want to keep the conversation going instead of us constantly talking.
I want her to say something after I initiate it so we can see if there is some chemistry there or not. And being able to get past "Hi"..You know what I mean? Are there some opening lines you can suggest I can use the next time I go out that are appealing? That way I will be armed with some ice breakers and will lead to getting to know someone hopefully.
Could you please let me know at your earliest convenience?
Thank you. Dimitrios
************************************************
Ok. For Dimitrios and all of you reading this:
This all depends on where you find yourself and what you see the girl doing.
This makes sense, doesn't it?
If you want a line that works in every circumstance, in every situation, no matter where you find yourself, and what the girl is doing, I guess you could go,
Hi..I noticed you here and realized if I didn't say something....I'd never get to find out what you're like..other than what I already know.
When she says, "What do you know?"
You say, "That you seem like you'd be cool and fun to talk to. I'm...YOUR NAME HERE".
You see, knowing what to SAY to a woman is utterly and totally dependent on WHAT YOU CAN OBSERVE ABOUT THAT WOMAN.
It's not so much a matter of what to say.
No, the real secret of "opening" women is, knowing what to observe, knowing what to notice, and even KNOWING WHAT TO GET CURIOUS ABOUT.
Does that make sense?
Also, the approach to opening her might differ a bit if she is at a coffee house, quietly studying, as opposed to in a loud restaurant or party, right?
Why?
Because the CONTEXT she is in and what you NOTICE about her is going to be different.
If she's studying, and you notice that she's having a hard time; thinking really hard, talking to herself out loud or just thinking "OUTLOUD" in her head, it would NOT make sense to walk up and ask her opinion about the great band that is playing or where she bought her cool bicycle.
So, I will say it again.
The most important thing, first and foremost, is NOT what you say, but the context she is in, and what you can observe about her and the setting she is in.
Now, many guys ask me about compliments. Should I give them? Is it a good way to first "open up" talking to a woman? If so, what should I compliment?
Ok. I'll repeat: it depends on the context, where she is, what she is doing, and what you NOTICE and can OBSERVE.
Look: whether it is opening her by using a compliment, or asking her a question about something, or making a comment about something she's doing or something going on in the environment, I will ask myself the same question, "What can I notice about this person that I can use to make a connection?"
Now, let's say I notice something about her that I DO find worth complimenting. My rules for complimenting are as follows:
1. NO sexual content in the compliments. That means I don't compliment on her great boobs, great legs, great butt, etc. No woman(no half-way SANE woman) wants a drooling lecher.
2. All compliments to be delivered with good eye contact in fact, ANY openers are delivered this way) with a smile on my face AND in my eyes( I sort of make them twinkle a bit) and delivered with a MATTER of fact voice tone.
This means I don't overdo it with my tone of voice. The compliment is delivered, matter of fact, with no concern on my part whether she will accept it, reject it or anything in between.
It is NOT about her accepting or rejecting what I say. It is ONLY about me wanting to say what I have to say, and any response she has is OK WITH ME.
Really, this is about the sub -text. This means, you see, that there is the surface message, the actual words I say. Those can be important.
But the sub-text is the unspoken or implied message I am delivering about me and how I walk through the world; that ***I*** take full responsibility for how I feel about myself, my situation, the events and circumstances in my life, and I don't need anyone to approve or validate my message.
Now, trust me. When you come from THAT place, and add in a touch of humor....
Almost Anything You Say Will Get A Good Response!
Notice something else. This is a great but different KIND of confidence. It's not the kind of confidence that say, loudly, "I KNOW I AM GOING TO GET WHAT I WANT".
It's more of a, "If I get what I want, that's fine and good, and if not, that's ok too. I'm having fun regardless".
Ok. Back to compliments then.
I prefer to compliment women on the following things:
1. How they carry themselves or how they move. I enjoy a woman who moves beautifully and/or who has great posture. I will tell them so, as follows, "I just wanted to tell....I think you have perfect.......posture. You just carry yourself beautifully."
Notice the ....... This indicates a pause in your speaking. I don't run everythingtogetherintoonesentencelikethis.
No. I take....my....time. I pause, right before I tell them what I am going to tell them, so they will get curious about what I am going to say, and therefore be more receptive.
The pauses in the music are as much a part of the music as the notes, to use a metaphor.
2. How they are dressed. I like to compliment on style. So I will say, "I just wanted to tell you...I admire women with class and style...so I had to say "hi". I'm YOUR NAME HERE."
Note that this is what I call an IMPLIED compliment. I didn't' directly tell her I think SHE has class and style. I said I admire women with class and style, so I had to say "hi". That IMPLIES that I think she has class and style.
Why is this important?
Well, by implying the compliment, she has to use her imagination to interpret what you meant.
Imagination is an ACTIVE process, and so she doesn't resist the message, as she herself has to take an active hand in creating it!
Implied compliments are very useful in slipping past any resistance or skepticism to your message!
This, of course, is part of the number #1 rule in Speed Seduction®: Use your imagination to capture and lead a woman's imagination and emotions!
3. I will compliment on their "energy". I know this is a New Age, California kind of thing, but women are into "energy" or "vibes". It doesn't matter if you believe in it or not-although I hope one day you will.
The important thing is, MOST women believe in it.
So if I notice a woman has a calm, radiant, happy demeanor, I will say, ""I just wanted to tell you.....I think you have..a beautiful....energy about you, and it just made me have to say "hi". I'm YOUR NAME HERE".
Ok. Another major way to meet women is to say something funny; make an observation or comment that is humorous, based on something you can observe.
Now, again, I can't give you a "one line fits all" example, because again, it's based on what you are observing in the actual situation. So you will have to observe her, asking, "What can I notice that I can use to make a connection?".
Next, ask yourself, "How can I phrase that in a clever, funny way that gets attention and makes her laugh?"
This takes some practice. But you can get good at it.
Now, again, I hesitate to give word for word examples, because it depends on what you observe. But let me give you just a couple I have used.
One day, as I sat having coffee, this woman walked into the Coffee B*** and T** L***, a local coffee house chain. I noticed immediately that:
1. She had purple hair 2. She had purple fingernails 3. She had purple eye shadow 4. She had purple lipstick 5. She was wearing purple gym clothes 6. She had purple shoes (Yes, I wondered if her PANTIES were purple, but I didn't ask!)
Now, I could have just made a straight comment/observation, as in, "Wow. I see you like the color purple".
Instead, I chose to be funny. I said, "Hmmm..excuse me...but I'm getting a psychic message about you from the spirit world.
Yes...yes..it's a bit fuzzy..hold on..hold on! Yes, the spirits are telling me..YOU LIKE..THE COLOR....PURPLE.
Now, she busted out laughing and that started the conversation.
nother time, I was with a friend in a restaurant/coffee place and we noticed this very cute Asian girl studying her text book so hard, her ears were about to start smoking. She was obviously having a hard time understanding it, talking to herself out loud and then obviously talking to herself in her head.
We sat at the table near her and I said, "Excuse me..can I ask you not to think too loud? You look like a loud thinker and my friend and I have something very important to discuss."
Now, at that point, she busted up laughing and joined in our conversation.
So again; I can provide examples with this kind of opener. And I can tell you how to come up with your own. But you are going to have to match your opener to what you actually see and observe about her-does that make sense?
Here Are Some Approaches I Do NOT Recommend-
1. Asking her the time, or for directions. It's trite, lame, and then where do you go from there? If you are terribly shy and can't even talk to women, ok, you can start here. But learn to do something else quickly.
2. Being insulting or in any way rude. I don't care what you might have heard. Insulting a woman is stupid. Any woman with choice is just going to move on. If she's kind, she won't insult you back. If she isn't, she just might give a verbal tongue lashing, and that's not the kind of tongue action you want!
3. Invading her space when I meet her. Once I make my initial opening, tell her my name, shake her hand; I then actually take a step back, away from her, to give her back her space.
Women tell me that, to them, it demonstrates respect. It also indicates that, while I am strong enough to come up and meet them, I am also concerned with their safety, and they like that combination. And finally, it indicates a challenge: just because she gave me a good initial response to my opener, doesn't mean she has me! It establishes a challenge, right away.
In any case, whatever approaches you use, bear in mind one more thing I teach my students: 90% of the time, the worst that can happen is NOTHING will happen.
The image of the cold, cruel, rejecting, vicious "bitch"
really exists pretty much only in the movies. Most women, if they aren't interested (and most actually do respond positively to a sincere, fun approach, even if they don't get romantically interested) just won't do anything.
They won't yell.
They won't shoot a dirty look.
They won't hit you or call the cops or the bouncer.
Most, if they just aren't interested, simply WON'T RESPOND.
So get this: the worst that can happen is NOTHING WILL
HAPPEN.
Repeat after me: THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN IS: NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.
I've approached thousands of women, literally. In all that
time, maybe 5 instances have I ever been yelled at or have women had something truly vicious to say. And in those cases, I just chalked it up to something that had NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
Maybe they were having a terrible day. Maybe their boyfriends beat or abused them. Who knows?
I know if I approach someone in a fun, non-threatening, and sincere way, and they are STILL mean, THEY are the ones with the problem.
Again, this means it has to be ok with you if you don't
"win" all the time. Or better still; define winning as having fun, polishing your skill, and learning SOMETHING about the person you are going to meet. That's within the power and ability of EVERY person, and most of the time, you learn something quite pleasant.
Ok. Enough on this. Hope this helps. I've shot a video
series on this and am in the process of editing it. I WILL
ANNOUNCE WHEN IT IS READY, so please don't call the office and bug them about it, OK? They get cranky about that kind of thing and I'm all about...
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. You can have all the success with women you've ever wanted right now, by going to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
P.P.S. You can start meeting women, anytime, anywhere
and never worry about what to say:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj185.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
Today I received the following question in email:
*****************************************************
I was wondering Ross, if you can suggest some icebreakers or opening lines to initiate conversations with? Like when you see an attractive girl and you want to approach her but you're not sure what to say. You want to say something but you're not sure what and then you think about it to long and its to late!
You know something comfortable that girls will smile at and want to keep the conversation going instead of us constantly talking.
I want her to say something after I initiate it so we can see if there is some chemistry there or not. And being able to get past "Hi"..You know what I mean? Are there some opening lines you can suggest I can use the next time I go out that are appealing? That way I will be armed with some ice breakers and will lead to getting to know someone hopefully.
Could you please let me know at your earliest convenience?
Thank you. Dimitrios
************************************************
Ok. For Dimitrios and all of you reading this:
This all depends on where you find yourself and what you see the girl doing.
This makes sense, doesn't it?
If you want a line that works in every circumstance, in every situation, no matter where you find yourself, and what the girl is doing, I guess you could go,
Hi..I noticed you here and realized if I didn't say something....I'd never get to find out what you're like..other than what I already know.
When she says, "What do you know?"
You say, "That you seem like you'd be cool and fun to talk to. I'm...YOUR NAME HERE".
You see, knowing what to SAY to a woman is utterly and totally dependent on WHAT YOU CAN OBSERVE ABOUT THAT WOMAN.
It's not so much a matter of what to say.
No, the real secret of "opening" women is, knowing what to observe, knowing what to notice, and even KNOWING WHAT TO GET CURIOUS ABOUT.
Does that make sense?
Also, the approach to opening her might differ a bit if she is at a coffee house, quietly studying, as opposed to in a loud restaurant or party, right?
Why?
Because the CONTEXT she is in and what you NOTICE about her is going to be different.
If she's studying, and you notice that she's having a hard time; thinking really hard, talking to herself out loud or just thinking "OUTLOUD" in her head, it would NOT make sense to walk up and ask her opinion about the great band that is playing or where she bought her cool bicycle.
So, I will say it again.
The most important thing, first and foremost, is NOT what you say, but the context she is in, and what you can observe about her and the setting she is in.
Now, many guys ask me about compliments. Should I give them? Is it a good way to first "open up" talking to a woman? If so, what should I compliment?
Ok. I'll repeat: it depends on the context, where she is, what she is doing, and what you NOTICE and can OBSERVE.
Look: whether it is opening her by using a compliment, or asking her a question about something, or making a comment about something she's doing or something going on in the environment, I will ask myself the same question, "What can I notice about this person that I can use to make a connection?"
Now, let's say I notice something about her that I DO find worth complimenting. My rules for complimenting are as follows:
1. NO sexual content in the compliments. That means I don't compliment on her great boobs, great legs, great butt, etc. No woman(no half-way SANE woman) wants a drooling lecher.
2. All compliments to be delivered with good eye contact in fact, ANY openers are delivered this way) with a smile on my face AND in my eyes( I sort of make them twinkle a bit) and delivered with a MATTER of fact voice tone.
This means I don't overdo it with my tone of voice. The compliment is delivered, matter of fact, with no concern on my part whether she will accept it, reject it or anything in between.
It is NOT about her accepting or rejecting what I say. It is ONLY about me wanting to say what I have to say, and any response she has is OK WITH ME.
Really, this is about the sub -text. This means, you see, that there is the surface message, the actual words I say. Those can be important.
But the sub-text is the unspoken or implied message I am delivering about me and how I walk through the world; that ***I*** take full responsibility for how I feel about myself, my situation, the events and circumstances in my life, and I don't need anyone to approve or validate my message.
Now, trust me. When you come from THAT place, and add in a touch of humor....
Almost Anything You Say Will Get A Good Response!
Notice something else. This is a great but different KIND of confidence. It's not the kind of confidence that say, loudly, "I KNOW I AM GOING TO GET WHAT I WANT".
It's more of a, "If I get what I want, that's fine and good, and if not, that's ok too. I'm having fun regardless".
Ok. Back to compliments then.
I prefer to compliment women on the following things:
1. How they carry themselves or how they move. I enjoy a woman who moves beautifully and/or who has great posture. I will tell them so, as follows, "I just wanted to tell....I think you have perfect.......posture. You just carry yourself beautifully."
Notice the ....... This indicates a pause in your speaking. I don't run everythingtogetherintoonesentencelikethis.
No. I take....my....time. I pause, right before I tell them what I am going to tell them, so they will get curious about what I am going to say, and therefore be more receptive.
The pauses in the music are as much a part of the music as the notes, to use a metaphor.
2. How they are dressed. I like to compliment on style. So I will say, "I just wanted to tell you...I admire women with class and style...so I had to say "hi". I'm YOUR NAME HERE."
Note that this is what I call an IMPLIED compliment. I didn't' directly tell her I think SHE has class and style. I said I admire women with class and style, so I had to say "hi". That IMPLIES that I think she has class and style.
Why is this important?
Well, by implying the compliment, she has to use her imagination to interpret what you meant.
Imagination is an ACTIVE process, and so she doesn't resist the message, as she herself has to take an active hand in creating it!
Implied compliments are very useful in slipping past any resistance or skepticism to your message!
This, of course, is part of the number #1 rule in Speed Seduction®: Use your imagination to capture and lead a woman's imagination and emotions!
3. I will compliment on their "energy". I know this is a New Age, California kind of thing, but women are into "energy" or "vibes". It doesn't matter if you believe in it or not-although I hope one day you will.
The important thing is, MOST women believe in it.
So if I notice a woman has a calm, radiant, happy demeanor, I will say, ""I just wanted to tell you.....I think you have..a beautiful....energy about you, and it just made me have to say "hi". I'm YOUR NAME HERE".
Ok. Another major way to meet women is to say something funny; make an observation or comment that is humorous, based on something you can observe.
Now, again, I can't give you a "one line fits all" example, because again, it's based on what you are observing in the actual situation. So you will have to observe her, asking, "What can I notice that I can use to make a connection?".
Next, ask yourself, "How can I phrase that in a clever, funny way that gets attention and makes her laugh?"
This takes some practice. But you can get good at it.
Now, again, I hesitate to give word for word examples, because it depends on what you observe. But let me give you just a couple I have used.
One day, as I sat having coffee, this woman walked into the Coffee B*** and T** L***, a local coffee house chain. I noticed immediately that:
1. She had purple hair 2. She had purple fingernails 3. She had purple eye shadow 4. She had purple lipstick 5. She was wearing purple gym clothes 6. She had purple shoes (Yes, I wondered if her PANTIES were purple, but I didn't ask!)
Now, I could have just made a straight comment/observation, as in, "Wow. I see you like the color purple".
Instead, I chose to be funny. I said, "Hmmm..excuse me...but I'm getting a psychic message about you from the spirit world.
Yes...yes..it's a bit fuzzy..hold on..hold on! Yes, the spirits are telling me..YOU LIKE..THE COLOR....PURPLE.
Now, she busted out laughing and that started the conversation.
nother time, I was with a friend in a restaurant/coffee place and we noticed this very cute Asian girl studying her text book so hard, her ears were about to start smoking. She was obviously having a hard time understanding it, talking to herself out loud and then obviously talking to herself in her head.
We sat at the table near her and I said, "Excuse me..can I ask you not to think too loud? You look like a loud thinker and my friend and I have something very important to discuss."
Now, at that point, she busted up laughing and joined in our conversation.
So again; I can provide examples with this kind of opener. And I can tell you how to come up with your own. But you are going to have to match your opener to what you actually see and observe about her-does that make sense?
Here Are Some Approaches I Do NOT Recommend-
1. Asking her the time, or for directions. It's trite, lame, and then where do you go from there? If you are terribly shy and can't even talk to women, ok, you can start here. But learn to do something else quickly.
2. Being insulting or in any way rude. I don't care what you might have heard. Insulting a woman is stupid. Any woman with choice is just going to move on. If she's kind, she won't insult you back. If she isn't, she just might give a verbal tongue lashing, and that's not the kind of tongue action you want!
3. Invading her space when I meet her. Once I make my initial opening, tell her my name, shake her hand; I then actually take a step back, away from her, to give her back her space.
Women tell me that, to them, it demonstrates respect. It also indicates that, while I am strong enough to come up and meet them, I am also concerned with their safety, and they like that combination. And finally, it indicates a challenge: just because she gave me a good initial response to my opener, doesn't mean she has me! It establishes a challenge, right away.
In any case, whatever approaches you use, bear in mind one more thing I teach my students: 90% of the time, the worst that can happen is NOTHING will happen.
The image of the cold, cruel, rejecting, vicious "bitch"
really exists pretty much only in the movies. Most women, if they aren't interested (and most actually do respond positively to a sincere, fun approach, even if they don't get romantically interested) just won't do anything.
They won't yell.
They won't shoot a dirty look.
They won't hit you or call the cops or the bouncer.
Most, if they just aren't interested, simply WON'T RESPOND.
So get this: the worst that can happen is NOTHING WILL
HAPPEN.
Repeat after me: THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN IS: NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.
I've approached thousands of women, literally. In all that
time, maybe 5 instances have I ever been yelled at or have women had something truly vicious to say. And in those cases, I just chalked it up to something that had NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
Maybe they were having a terrible day. Maybe their boyfriends beat or abused them. Who knows?
I know if I approach someone in a fun, non-threatening, and sincere way, and they are STILL mean, THEY are the ones with the problem.
Again, this means it has to be ok with you if you don't
"win" all the time. Or better still; define winning as having fun, polishing your skill, and learning SOMETHING about the person you are going to meet. That's within the power and ability of EVERY person, and most of the time, you learn something quite pleasant.
Ok. Enough on this. Hope this helps. I've shot a video
series on this and am in the process of editing it. I WILL
ANNOUNCE WHEN IT IS READY, so please don't call the office and bug them about it, OK? They get cranky about that kind of thing and I'm all about...
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. You can have all the success with women you've ever wanted right now, by going to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
P.P.S. You can start meeting women, anytime, anywhere
and never worry about what to say:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj185.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
How To Get Any Girl Steaming Hot, In MINUTES!
Dear Speed Seduction(R) Student,
In the last issues, I laid out the basic operating theory of Speed Seduction: that women have internal, subjective "recipes" for love, lust, chemistry, attraction etc that they run on themselves quite outside of their conscious awareness.
I pointed out also a that this "process" produces the "feelings" that they base their actions, decisions and choices on when it comes to us poor horny men!.
Therefore, as smart guys, we are no longer going to be fooled by "dating" thinking or "dating" questions which entirely ignore this vital information about how women get "feelings" and what is really important for us as seducers to think about.
So instead of being what I call A.F.C's(Average Frustrated Chumps) we are going to learn to enter of the world of Speed Seduction® and learn to rapidly trigger these internal feeling recipes that produce these feeling "states" so we can quickly and easily enjoy power, choice and variety with women most guys just have to wish and long for.
The key then is to ask the question: What kind of "states" do I want this woman to experience with me? And how can I trigger these states using my language: the themes I talk about, the stories I tell, the descriptions of my experiences I give, and the questions I ask?
You see, one key secret to getting a woman to undergo all her internal feeling recipes or "states" is..
GET HER TO TALK ABOUT THEM!
Yes, my friends, old Guru Ross clears up another mystery here: by talking about "feelings" women tend to unconsciously trigger their internal feeling "recipes" or processes, which then of course..
Makes the Feelings More Vivid And Real!
For men, talking is mostly about conveying a message or information. It can be the same for women, but much the time, talking is their way of unconsciously triggering these "recipe" programs that run outside of their awareness, so they can..
Enjoy These Intense Feelings Again!
What I am saying here is that there is an actual ongoing brain process where-by the language centers of the brain, when triggered by speech, somehow stimulate or cause her internal feeling recipes or processes for love, lust, attraction (or any other strong feeling state, positive or negative) so that these processes get run again and she can have the "feeling" experience.
Hey..I just explained TWO mysteries: why women are so "into" their "feelings" and why they love to talk so much! Nobel Prize, anybody?
Ok. Let's now give you a peek at some of the actual Speed Seduction® tools you can use over coffee, on a first meeting, or wherever you find yourself talking to a woman.
The first tool I want to introduce you to is conversational set ups and themes.
You see, it usually isn't considered normal or socially acceptable to launch into immediate discussions of have women experience "attraction" "chemistry" "connection" or "lust".
As important as these experiences may be, you need some way of introducing them into conversation so you appear to be a normal, non-threatening guy.
So let me introduce you to some key part of the Speed Seduction framework. In the brief example below we'll talk about conversational set-ups, quotes, embedded commands, priming patterns and trigger questions. Used in combination, these can get a woman to unconsciously run virtually any feeling recipe/state so she has the resulting feelings that will lead to the behaviors you want.
Conversational Set-Ups
Conversational set ups allow you, after just a bit of small talk, to bring up those themes, subjects and topics that are far more likely to trigger these "states" we are after in a woman: deep rapport, comfort, connection, fascination, lust, desire, chemistry etc.
Again, they let you avoid the taboo against discussing such things right off the bat or discussing them directly with someone you just met. And you can't just walk up to a woman and command, "YOU WILL FEEL LUST FOR ME".
A good way to bring up these "heavier" topics is to use a pattern called quotes. Quotes involves simply quoting a conversation or topic that you were having with a friend, or something that you heard in a seminar or read in a magazine or saw on t.v.
Quotes allow you to naturally bring up almost any topic in a non-threatening way. Why? Because you aren't addressing something to her directly. Just quoting what you said or heard said. So it is less threatening.
Also, we tend to use this pattern in language naturally all the time ANYWAY, as in, "Did you hear what Ross said to Rachel on "Friends"? etc etc.etc. The unconscious mind tends to recognize patterns of communication more than it does actual content. So if it feels to the unconscious like a natural pattern of communication(quoting someone else) then the actual content becomes a lot more acceptable.
So let's say you want to trigger that subjective "state" in a woman that involves feeling like there is a wild adventure- a real opportunity she has to act on RIGHT now or she'll lose it forever.
Here's how to use quotes to bring it up, "You know, I was having the most interesting discussion the other night with an old friend I had not seen in years (Conversational set-up, quoting you and your friend)
The next thing we are going to do is use a bit of language I call a "weasel phrase". Weasel phrases just set up the person to make a deep search of their inner experience without making it seem like you are giving a direct command.
You can't directly say, for example, "I command you to go inside your memory and remember what it is like to feel something and then feel that way with me".
Instead, when you use the weasel phrase "have you ever" it is actually a command but it sounds like an innocent question.
For example, if I wrote, "Have you ever read something and it just seemed so fascinating, you realized you want to learn more/"
It's actually a command to go into your memory and recall it, but it is much easier to disguise the command into the form of a question about your experience because that way you don't resist it.
Make sense? Let's continue with our example
"By the way, HAVE YOU EVER just had a friend, and you could just FEEL SO COMFORTABLE…FEEL SO CLOSE embedded commands-giving her commands to feel comfortable and close by bringing up the situation and hiding the commands inside a description of the situation-sneaky, isn't it). You could just FEEL LIKE YOU CAN SAY ANTHING?(another command to feel free to talk).
Notice here we threw in a few suggestions and commands: FEEL SO COMFORTABLE. FEEL SO CLOSE. FEEL LIKE YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING.
We didn't suggest or command directly. We hid them inside that "have you ever" weasel phrase-something that looked a question about her experience but was actually a command to go inside and search her memory.
Sneaky, sneaky, I know. But it works. Onward.
"So we were talking about how sometimes life presents an opportunity..and you realize that if you don't take the opportunity to have an adventure, you'll lose it forever.(focusing in on the topic now)
Ok. Now we are going to use a "pattern" or priming example: this is a description of your experience or someone else's experience. It is designed to "prime the pump" and begin to activate the structures of her brain and mind that produce and run her "recipes" as we discussed in the last newsletter.
"Like for example he was telling me how he had a chance to take a police car for a joy-ride..and how he could just FEEL THIS EXCITEMENT(another command embedded in your story) and it was just like this other part of him came out and he had to take this ride."
Note that little bit about "take this ride"-said with the right tonality it becomes a piece of sexual metaphor. This a way to help guide the "recipe" process towards triggering something that will produce sexual feelings. Note that it is not guaranteed to do this, by itself. It is just priming the pump. A start.
Now we are going to use "have you ever again" again to get her to talking. Why? Because please remember it is by talking women revivify and trigger their most intense and important feeling processes/recipes.
When she talks about her processes and "recipes" and experiences, she can experience the intense feelings we want her to have, and then we can link them to us.
Using "Have You Ever" A Second Time
We've used "have you ever" once to begin to prime her memory. Now we use "have you ever" again but this time it will activate those feeling recipes and processes by getting her to talk about them.:
"So I think because you can learn a lot about a person from that, have you ever had an experience like that..where you just had to go with an adventure that was in your path…take a ride that just seemed so irresistible?"
What have we done here? In just a few minutes we:
1. introduced a topic, guided her memory and imagination for a very important and powerful feeling "recipe" and process
2. gotten her to talk about it to revivify it and make it real again, all in what sounds like an innocent and completely normal conversation.
Not bad at all. Considering you can learn to do this in a 20 minute conversation, and you begin now to see the potential for unleashing your love life!
One more point: when you watch a woman as she describes these experiences, you will see her begin to strongly have these feelings. Often her face will flush, her breathing will get heavier, and she'll get what I call DDBL or the.
Doggie Dinner Bowl Look!
This is an expression similar to the ones my Dalmations I had as a kid would get when I would show them the can of dog food through the window so they knew it was feeding time!
Now, once a woman is experiencing these strong feeling states in your presence, because she's running her internal "feeling recipe" it's really only a short matter of time before you are baking your brownies in her oven(to use a metaphor again!).
Remember: women act on strong feelings. As long as the feelings are there, as the end result of her running her internal "recipes" she will not in any way realize or know how they came about.
She will only feel them, feel happy they are there and feel glad that you will be feeling her in all those ways her nice guy "friends" will never get to.
Ok. I don't want to overwhelm you . The study of using conversational set ups, quotes, priming patterns, embedded commands, command questions and other tools-this study is the core of Speed Seduction. But do go out and try some of this stuff and you'll be shocked to see it works and works amazingly well.
Just remember a key rule: Speed Seducers never communicate just to be flapping your lips. Communicate with an outcome in mind so you can direct and trigger her feeling "recipes" in the direction you want, you the result you want is what you get!
Til next time,
Peace and piece,
Ross
P.S. As I said in a previous issue, this way of speaking may seem strange to you as a guy, and that is a GOOD thing. It's not supposed to be the kind of thing we GUYS respond to. It IS what women love, what triggers their deeper level emotional centers, and what stimulates their fantasies and sexual desires.
You can get started getting women hot and bothered by going to this link right now:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
In the last issues, I laid out the basic operating theory of Speed Seduction: that women have internal, subjective "recipes" for love, lust, chemistry, attraction etc that they run on themselves quite outside of their conscious awareness.
I pointed out also a that this "process" produces the "feelings" that they base their actions, decisions and choices on when it comes to us poor horny men!.
Therefore, as smart guys, we are no longer going to be fooled by "dating" thinking or "dating" questions which entirely ignore this vital information about how women get "feelings" and what is really important for us as seducers to think about.
So instead of being what I call A.F.C's(Average Frustrated Chumps) we are going to learn to enter of the world of Speed Seduction® and learn to rapidly trigger these internal feeling recipes that produce these feeling "states" so we can quickly and easily enjoy power, choice and variety with women most guys just have to wish and long for.
The key then is to ask the question: What kind of "states" do I want this woman to experience with me? And how can I trigger these states using my language: the themes I talk about, the stories I tell, the descriptions of my experiences I give, and the questions I ask?
You see, one key secret to getting a woman to undergo all her internal feeling recipes or "states" is..
GET HER TO TALK ABOUT THEM!
Yes, my friends, old Guru Ross clears up another mystery here: by talking about "feelings" women tend to unconsciously trigger their internal feeling "recipes" or processes, which then of course..
Makes the Feelings More Vivid And Real!
For men, talking is mostly about conveying a message or information. It can be the same for women, but much the time, talking is their way of unconsciously triggering these "recipe" programs that run outside of their awareness, so they can..
Enjoy These Intense Feelings Again!
What I am saying here is that there is an actual ongoing brain process where-by the language centers of the brain, when triggered by speech, somehow stimulate or cause her internal feeling recipes or processes for love, lust, attraction (or any other strong feeling state, positive or negative) so that these processes get run again and she can have the "feeling" experience.
Hey..I just explained TWO mysteries: why women are so "into" their "feelings" and why they love to talk so much! Nobel Prize, anybody?
Ok. Let's now give you a peek at some of the actual Speed Seduction® tools you can use over coffee, on a first meeting, or wherever you find yourself talking to a woman.
The first tool I want to introduce you to is conversational set ups and themes.
You see, it usually isn't considered normal or socially acceptable to launch into immediate discussions of have women experience "attraction" "chemistry" "connection" or "lust".
As important as these experiences may be, you need some way of introducing them into conversation so you appear to be a normal, non-threatening guy.
So let me introduce you to some key part of the Speed Seduction framework. In the brief example below we'll talk about conversational set-ups, quotes, embedded commands, priming patterns and trigger questions. Used in combination, these can get a woman to unconsciously run virtually any feeling recipe/state so she has the resulting feelings that will lead to the behaviors you want.
Conversational Set-Ups
Conversational set ups allow you, after just a bit of small talk, to bring up those themes, subjects and topics that are far more likely to trigger these "states" we are after in a woman: deep rapport, comfort, connection, fascination, lust, desire, chemistry etc.
Again, they let you avoid the taboo against discussing such things right off the bat or discussing them directly with someone you just met. And you can't just walk up to a woman and command, "YOU WILL FEEL LUST FOR ME".
A good way to bring up these "heavier" topics is to use a pattern called quotes. Quotes involves simply quoting a conversation or topic that you were having with a friend, or something that you heard in a seminar or read in a magazine or saw on t.v.
Quotes allow you to naturally bring up almost any topic in a non-threatening way. Why? Because you aren't addressing something to her directly. Just quoting what you said or heard said. So it is less threatening.
Also, we tend to use this pattern in language naturally all the time ANYWAY, as in, "Did you hear what Ross said to Rachel on "Friends"? etc etc.etc. The unconscious mind tends to recognize patterns of communication more than it does actual content. So if it feels to the unconscious like a natural pattern of communication(quoting someone else) then the actual content becomes a lot more acceptable.
So let's say you want to trigger that subjective "state" in a woman that involves feeling like there is a wild adventure- a real opportunity she has to act on RIGHT now or she'll lose it forever.
Here's how to use quotes to bring it up, "You know, I was having the most interesting discussion the other night with an old friend I had not seen in years (Conversational set-up, quoting you and your friend)
The next thing we are going to do is use a bit of language I call a "weasel phrase". Weasel phrases just set up the person to make a deep search of their inner experience without making it seem like you are giving a direct command.
You can't directly say, for example, "I command you to go inside your memory and remember what it is like to feel something and then feel that way with me".
Instead, when you use the weasel phrase "have you ever" it is actually a command but it sounds like an innocent question.
For example, if I wrote, "Have you ever read something and it just seemed so fascinating, you realized you want to learn more/"
It's actually a command to go into your memory and recall it, but it is much easier to disguise the command into the form of a question about your experience because that way you don't resist it.
Make sense? Let's continue with our example
"By the way, HAVE YOU EVER just had a friend, and you could just FEEL SO COMFORTABLE…FEEL SO CLOSE embedded commands-giving her commands to feel comfortable and close by bringing up the situation and hiding the commands inside a description of the situation-sneaky, isn't it). You could just FEEL LIKE YOU CAN SAY ANTHING?(another command to feel free to talk).
Notice here we threw in a few suggestions and commands: FEEL SO COMFORTABLE. FEEL SO CLOSE. FEEL LIKE YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING.
We didn't suggest or command directly. We hid them inside that "have you ever" weasel phrase-something that looked a question about her experience but was actually a command to go inside and search her memory.
Sneaky, sneaky, I know. But it works. Onward.
"So we were talking about how sometimes life presents an opportunity..and you realize that if you don't take the opportunity to have an adventure, you'll lose it forever.(focusing in on the topic now)
Ok. Now we are going to use a "pattern" or priming example: this is a description of your experience or someone else's experience. It is designed to "prime the pump" and begin to activate the structures of her brain and mind that produce and run her "recipes" as we discussed in the last newsletter.
"Like for example he was telling me how he had a chance to take a police car for a joy-ride..and how he could just FEEL THIS EXCITEMENT(another command embedded in your story) and it was just like this other part of him came out and he had to take this ride."
Note that little bit about "take this ride"-said with the right tonality it becomes a piece of sexual metaphor. This a way to help guide the "recipe" process towards triggering something that will produce sexual feelings. Note that it is not guaranteed to do this, by itself. It is just priming the pump. A start.
Now we are going to use "have you ever again" again to get her to talking. Why? Because please remember it is by talking women revivify and trigger their most intense and important feeling processes/recipes.
When she talks about her processes and "recipes" and experiences, she can experience the intense feelings we want her to have, and then we can link them to us.
Using "Have You Ever" A Second Time
We've used "have you ever" once to begin to prime her memory. Now we use "have you ever" again but this time it will activate those feeling recipes and processes by getting her to talk about them.:
"So I think because you can learn a lot about a person from that, have you ever had an experience like that..where you just had to go with an adventure that was in your path…take a ride that just seemed so irresistible?"
What have we done here? In just a few minutes we:
1. introduced a topic, guided her memory and imagination for a very important and powerful feeling "recipe" and process
2. gotten her to talk about it to revivify it and make it real again, all in what sounds like an innocent and completely normal conversation.
Not bad at all. Considering you can learn to do this in a 20 minute conversation, and you begin now to see the potential for unleashing your love life!
One more point: when you watch a woman as she describes these experiences, you will see her begin to strongly have these feelings. Often her face will flush, her breathing will get heavier, and she'll get what I call DDBL or the.
Doggie Dinner Bowl Look!
This is an expression similar to the ones my Dalmations I had as a kid would get when I would show them the can of dog food through the window so they knew it was feeding time!
Now, once a woman is experiencing these strong feeling states in your presence, because she's running her internal "feeling recipe" it's really only a short matter of time before you are baking your brownies in her oven(to use a metaphor again!).
Remember: women act on strong feelings. As long as the feelings are there, as the end result of her running her internal "recipes" she will not in any way realize or know how they came about.
She will only feel them, feel happy they are there and feel glad that you will be feeling her in all those ways her nice guy "friends" will never get to.
Ok. I don't want to overwhelm you . The study of using conversational set ups, quotes, priming patterns, embedded commands, command questions and other tools-this study is the core of Speed Seduction. But do go out and try some of this stuff and you'll be shocked to see it works and works amazingly well.
Just remember a key rule: Speed Seducers never communicate just to be flapping your lips. Communicate with an outcome in mind so you can direct and trigger her feeling "recipes" in the direction you want, you the result you want is what you get!
Til next time,
Peace and piece,
Ross
P.S. As I said in a previous issue, this way of speaking may seem strange to you as a guy, and that is a GOOD thing. It's not supposed to be the kind of thing we GUYS respond to. It IS what women love, what triggers their deeper level emotional centers, and what stimulates their fantasies and sexual desires.
You can get started getting women hot and bothered by going to this link right now:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp
This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.
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